Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Crumpets

Let's try this again...

Ok, so it's been a while. But I told you not to expect regular updates. Why don't you people ever listen to me? I guess that's just part of being a middle child. No, no, it's ok. I'm used to it by now. What's been going on lately? Quite a lot actually. For example, last Tuesday (the 4th) I turned sixteen. The age of the license. So I went to get it. Now that was a trip, let me tell ya. *The audience, who has already heard this story at least four times, groans.*
We (meaning my mother and I) arrived at the Alabama Department of Public Safety at approximately 11:30am. I had already been here the year before to get my permit, so I knew what to expect. This time I remembered to bring something to read. This time I wasn't going to be stuck twiddling my thumbs for hours on end. So in a fairly good mood, I settled into a fairly uncomfortable plastic chair with The Count of Monte Cristo and prepared to wait it out.

Five hours later.

You know, after you've been the same room with the same group of strangers for any length of time, the "stranger" status begins to wear off. You start striking up little chats with whoever happens to be sitting/standing/tearing their hair out in frustrated impatience next to you. When someone's number is called they cheer, and everyone else cheers with them, though perhaps silently. There's a real sense of camaraderie. It actually would have been a pretty fun time if it hadn't been for the fact that I'd been sitting in the same chair, breathing the same oxygen for the past five hours, hardly willing to go to the bathroom lest my number be called in my absence.
Needless to say, when my number finally was called, I was very,very happy. I was finally going into The Room. That happy feeling lasted right up to the part where I sat down in the empty chair across from the desk. That was when I was confronted by a very large, very snippy, and very bad tempered black woman. "Please Lord, please, oh please, don't let this be my license examiner!" I just knew that if I took the road test with her in the car, she would fail me just for making her leave the comfort of her desk chair. I had seen the other large, black women back there actually crack a smile once in a while. This one? No such luck. Fortunately (well, now that I look back on it) my insurance card was expired. That's right folks. Five hours of waiting and what to show for it? Diddley. Squat.
Needless to say, when I found this out I was very, very disappointed. I would have taken any license examiner, if only they would let me take the test! We ask what we need to do. Get an insurance card that's not expired they say. Ok, how late are you open? We process until 4:00. What time is it? 3:56. Fantastic.
We went back in the morning. I was determined to be the safest darn driver in Alabama, just to show them. I'd be so safe, they would have no choice but the let me pass. "This is just incredible!" they would say. " We're giving you an A class license!You want to transport hazardous waste? Go right ahead! Oh, you want to fly an airplane too? No problem! Here, take this license to operate a tank as well!" So I took the test. I passed. I am now legally a danger to motorists everywhere.The examiner guy was actually pretty cool, and I must have done well as the only thing he said to me by way of criticism was to go faster (and I had no problem with that). Unfortunately, they didn't award me a tank license (there's always next year...) but, Saturday I had a most awesome party. It more than made up for my actual birthday fiasco. I forgot how many awesome friends I had. It made me feel very good inside, and also very undeserving. It was, quite possibly, the Best. Party. Ever. I would write more about it, but I don't think I can properly express how it made me feel. The capitalized words above will have to suffice.
So all in all...my sixteenth birthday rocked.


Just a side note, I am listening to Flamenco music as I write this. It sounds very...sultry? It's interesting how music can convey those types of emotions with no words. *Listens for a moment.* Hmmm....maybe I should visit Spain.

12 comments:

fa-so-la-la said...

It sounds red and purple, dosn't it? The music that is. Not the driver's test.

Dodger of Sheep said...

Red and purple indeed. Very red and purple.

Lynn Bruce said...

OK. But what about crumpets?

Pipsqueak said...

Had you read "The Count of Monte Christo" before?

Dodger of Sheep said...

That would be a negative. It's my first time, and I must say I am enjoying it very much. Vengeance makes for great reading.

(I will let you draw your own conclusions as to the title of this post)

Pipsqueak said...

I read it once a few years ago, and I'm afraid I was a bit young to understand the whole concept. I liked it, though, so I re-read it this year, and now I like it better.

toesthattwinkle said...

Oh! Your party was so much fun. The dance (is it one or two dance?) revolution was fun. The whole party was just awesome. And at least you have your liscense...Caleb won't have his for a while(most likely)

Laura Kathryn said...

Oh Graham! I am so happy. You've met The Count. Isn't he fabulous? He is one of my all time favorite books, and that takes some doing.
And let me warn anyone who intends to read him -he is the trickiest of books. You will truly believe, heart and soul, that you are reading The Unabridged Version. I mean good grief, it has to be, it's 100 chapters long! right? wrong. After much searching I have come to the conclusion that there are more abridged copies of that book out there than there are un.
So, be fairly warned; be sure as sure; it absolutely must be read in its entirety.
As I remember I was reading The Fellowship of the Ring during The Interminable Wait at the Liscence Place.
-K

ithchick said...

Our Licensing Place doesn't have interminable waiting. But it does have Sabrina the Teenage Witch or Bewitched every single time you go in. Gross.
(As for why I have been there so many times, "Its not my fault!" [to quote the unbeatable Han Solo] My dear father continually loses my permit, and we have to get another one.)

polemic turtle said...

Why are your parents holding your permit hostage? Or is that a long story as well? ;-)

Funny that anyone should ever have to wait very long at a licensing station; I've never had to wait more than 20-40 minutes. Irony did so steel my pity for you on account of your lack of tanking licensage that I'm not even considering writing your Senator. Sorry, this has only happened once before. :-|

ithchick said...

He's not holding it hostage, he just kept losing it.

beatrice said...

BUFFALO!!!!!!!!!!!!!