Saturday, September 30, 2006

I'm Baaaack....

The Dodger has landed. I got home last night (after nearly 24 hours without sleep...those time zone changes kill ya) and I thouroghly enjoyed my trip. Italy met and maybe even exceeded all of my expectations. And you know, I feel more strongly now that even with all of our quirks, problems, and bad habits, America is still the greatest country on Earth. It's good to be home.
Trip pictures are forthcoming.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Into the Blue

As most of you probably know, I will be leaving for Italy on Saturday. This will be my greatest adventure yet. My uncle and I will be flying out of Atlanta in the afternoon, we'll layover in Paris, and then come into Rome. Six days I shall be abroad. Three in ancient Roma, two in beautiful Sorrento, and then back to Rome for the final day. Mine eyes shall behold sights viewed by emperor's, my feet walk paths tred for thousands of years. It doesn't even seem real. I would deeply appreciate it if you would all keep my uncle and me in your prayers. Pray that we will have a safe journey, free from complications and full of fun. And also pray that the Pope doesn't tick off any more Muslims while I'm over there. I'll try to take plenty of pictures to share, and maybe I'll brave the horrendous long-distance charges and post a brief audioblog...but on second thought, maybe not.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Brisk and Bubbly

A little something I did for composition today. Don't you wish you went to my school?



A Brief Observation
on the
Lives and Social Habits
of
Trolls

Upon first reading this title, you may have asked yourself, "What more is there to know about trolls? They live in caves, they eat rocks, and they smash
things. That's about it, right?" While those are legitimate facts of troll life, they are too superficial. They fail to show the true depth and complexity of troll culture. To truly understand trolls, the questions one must ask are: What do trolls like so much about caves? How are they able to eat rocks? Why do they smash things?
These are the questions that I will attempt to answer in this composition, and I hope that by doing so, I will have given you a greater appreciation for all things trollish.
First of all, we will examine the common troll's habitation: the cave. It is a well established fact that most troll caves are merely round repositories for rotting refuse and repulsive rubbish. But there is more to it than that. Trolls live in caves for several reasons. For example, trolls are big and so are caves, so it is a natural match. Also, caves are very easy to take care of, which trolls find attractive as they are not too fond of home maintainence. Trolls usually attempt to settle in a cave that is situated on a cliff or moutainside; the reason being that the elevation provides ample oppurtunities to throw large, heavy objects onto smaller, more fragile objects below.
Another feature that attracts trolls to caves is the abundance of rocks, which trolls eat. You see, trolls love to eat. It is one of their favorite activities. When a troll first moves into an area, he will immediately set out to consume anything edible in that region. This usually does not take very long, and accounts for the barreness of the land around most troll caves. Soon there is nothing left for the troll to eat except rocks. Rocks are difficult to chew, even for trolls, and it takes quite a while for a troll to eat any significant number of them. To date, no known troll has ever eaten the entire available number of rocks in his cave; either dying or moving on to more flavorfully diverse lands before the supply is exhausted.
If there is one thing that trolls like more than eating, it is smashing things. Why? Trolls just find this fun. Every troll has a large stick that he carries with him everywhere he goes. This is referred to by experts as a "troll stick". Trolls are immensely attached to their wooden clubs and will go to great lengths to keep the same one.
After a marathon of smashing, a troll can be observed to sit in his cave for long periods of time, painstakingly picking the smallest fragments of smashed objects out of his troll stick. The only known regular social gathering of trolls is for something they refer to as "Big Smash". This is an event in which large numbers of trolls will gather and proceed to smash anything and everything they can get their sticks on. It is truly an inspiring spectacle to witness (from a safe distance, of course).
I hope that after reading this essay you have a new respect for trolls and their ways. I hope that you recognize them for the interesting creatures they are, and will not simply dismiss them as nasty, brutish, and stupid, although these are qualities that they certainly posess.

A.D. Mundle

Professor of Trollology at The University