Friday, February 23, 2007

The Wheels on the Bus

Let's talk about trust in human relationships.
Observe:
When you find out that someone likes/has a thing for/is infatuated with/whateveryouwanttocallit you, you can no longer trust that person. "But wait, isn't that sort of backwards?" you may ask "Wouldn't you know you would be able to trust him/her because they have feelings for you and would never want to betray you?" You would think so. But that's not what happens. You can no longer tell this person anything. Why? Because they are paying attention. When next you unburden yourself to them, everything you say will be weighed, meticulously examined, and, worst of all, remembered. You see, normally when you speak to a friend about an emotionally confusing issue, they will kindly listen to what you have to say (because they're nice people), nod in all the right places, and then promptly forget the whole thing. That's the way these things are supposed to work. It preserves the Circle of Trust. Since the issue was forgotten, it cannot be spread abroad. But, if the person you are using as a sounding board happens to like you (that way) then they will constantly be evaluating your comments, thinking "Ok, how does this apply to me? Is he talking about me there? How can I use this?" Do you see what happened? All of a sudden your problem is not about you anymore. It's about them. And, since it's their problem, the next time they feel the need to talk, they will have no reservations whatsover in divulging what you told them in confidence. It's not that they do it maliciously, it's just that they no longer perceive it as being your secret.
So, the best thing to do when you learn that a person to whom you have been pouring out your soul is enjoying that soul-pouring a bit too much, is to break contact. I don't mean totally exclude them, just don't let them be your secret keeper anymore. Then, go find someone who you have absolutely zero chances with, or better yet, someone already in a relationship, and use them as your go-to person. However, be careful in this step. If you are particularly good-looking, or charming, or a combination of the two, then when you open up and show your vulnerable side, you may end up creating "feelings" in the person you are sharing your innermost self with.
And then you're back to the same problem you started out with.














(Note: The above post was written tongue-in-cheek, and the reader is discouraged from making in life/relationship altering decisions based upon it.)

Friday, February 02, 2007

Libria anyone?

An Excerpt From
Suffer the Aged to Come

by Jeff Carrol

Peace is an illusion. It is a mad dream propagated by those who refuse to awaken to the reality that so long as man exists, so will war. The brief peaces that give these dreamers their false hope are just that: brief peaces; short intervals between bloodshed; a moment to catch one's breath before plunging back into the fray. Are the ones who advocate a world at peace blind? Can they not see that our world, the real world, is a world of conflict? Are they deaf to the sounds of war that rage unchecked day after day? A fool's dream, this world peace. Oh, a noble aspiration, to be sure, but unattainable. Why? The chief problem is man. We are creatures of emotion; driven by them. It is not cold reason or logic that we answer to, but the volatile heart of man. Anger, ambition, fear, these are the spurs that drive us to conflict; these are the sparks that light war's flame. These emotions are ingrained in every human being. They are universal; inescapable. The day you can stop our emotions is the day you can stop war.