Parsnip Pudding?

You know what I hate? Shoes that are hard to get off. For some odd reason it annoys me to no end when I have to sit and tug and strain for five minutes to get my shoe off. I have pair of black dress shoes that are snazzy for sure, but boy when it comes time to take them off, I feel them to be my mortal enemy. In a fantastic contest of wills we face each other: the one holding fast to it's long sought postition, the other striving with all of his considerable might to remove it. With many a "Mmmmph!" and "Hrrrgh!" the battle is fought, while the earth (symbolizing my foot) seems almost to burst asunder with the strain.
I just don't like shoes in general. God didn't intend for man to wear shoes. The hobbits had the right idea. Excuse me will I try to evolve a thick, furry covering for my foot.

Wanted

Elegance:

n Refinement, grace, and beauty in movement, appearance, or manners.

Why don't girls have this any more? What happened?