Whilst cleaning out one of the drawers in my room not too long ago, I happened upon this little bit of insanity that was written by yours truly at the tender age of nine...or ten. It's all a bit hazy, so I can't remember exactly. What I do remember is that I was sitting in my room, busily playing with Legos and started acting out the following...skit., I guess you would call it. Now, you must understand that when I played with Legos, I didn't just build something and then break it, oh no, I would build something and then proceed to spin out a tale that sometimes lasted for days on end. Like this one time I had a bunch of Silly-Putty and I pretended it was some kind of evil space goo, and it crash landed on Earth and all the Lego guys had to try and stop it from taking over the world. But at first it looked like there was no way, because it was goo, ya know? and all of their shots were just absorbed or passed right through it, and then the goo would come up and swallow whoever was shooting at it, so everyone had to put their heads together and.....But I digress. Anyhoodle, here's the little skit that I thought was so funny I just had to write it down:
THE BUGS
and Floyd
Fred: Look Floyd, bugs!
Floyd: Ahhh! Bugs!! I hate bugs!
Floyd starts stamping the bugs while yelling: "Bugs! I hate bugs!"
Fred: Ooookay. I'll just leave now.
Floyd: I hate bugs!
Fred leaves the house. Floyd's wife and daughter walk in.
Daughter: Mommy, is daddy ok?
Wife: It's ok Sue, your daddy does this sometimes.
Sue: What's he saying?
Wife: Listen.
Floyd: I hate bugs! If I had it my way there would be no bugs! Why are there bugs, anyway?
Sue: Are you sure daddy's ok?
Wife:It's ok Sue, don't worry.
Floyd: Confound and botherate these bugs!
Wife: Ok, now you can worry.
Floyd goes and gets his shotgun and starts shooting the bugs.
Floyd: Ha ha ha! Die bugs!
Wife: Honey, I think you should stop now. You're scaring Sue.
Floyd: Nonsense, April. Sue hates bugs too.
Sue: No I don't. I think bugs are cool.
Floyd: What?!? Go to your room! You're grounded!!!
Sue runs to her room, crying.
April: I don't think that was necessary,dear.
Floyd drops the shotgun.
Floyd: You dare question my authority?!?
April: No, I just-
Floyd picks up the shotgun and says: I've got a shotgun!
April: Honey-
Floyd: I've got a shotgun and I know how to use it!
April:Um, dear, I think it's supposed to be turned the other way around.
Floyd: Now you're telling me how to do things?!? That's it! I'm getting rid of you right now!
Floyd pulls the trigger and goes flying out the window.
The End
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10 comments:
That's so funny! Bright and colorful cute character you used to be! What happened??
...
wow.
That sounds like a boy version (a very boy version, very very et.) of Claire and I back in the golden days of our youth.
Did I ever tell you about the time when, while running away from our master on the Underground Railroad (which we honestly believed was a railway underground), we got trapped in the crossfire of the Civil War and were badly injured. We crawled under some nearby bushes until an angel appeared and flew us to a good woman's house, who nursed us through the terrible pneumonia we contracted from our wounds. We had scarlet fever at the same time, and were on the brink of death. The woman wanted us to stay until we regained our strength, but we wanted freedom so badly that we went on even though the scarlet fever had left Claire blind and me on crutches. At length we came to a little farming village that didn't have a school. We started one, and lived happily ever after teaching the merry country children.
It was all very exciting.
I wasn't going to comment but I can't let this moment pass...
the word verification is:
odddodox
Wow. Maybe that's what Ralph is.
Awesome...
And I always hated it when the space goo would attack my G.I. Joes too...bad day in G.I. joe-ville
Also, love the fact that you use the word "Botherate" as a 10 yo. Love that.
And you must forgive me because I have NEVER commented on your blog before....
Shame...shame to the "nsaul" in the 2 that make up "Prinsaul"
(Again with the crazy word verification of YVZUWWCO)
Thou art forgiven.
All hail the mercy of Graham the Smiter!
And Hey! Why is your name not "Son of Thunder!"
Are you leaving the Great Circle of Names?
Without your given name you have none of your powers....consider that...
Well, I wanted my own, unique blogger name. Son of Thunder is still a supremely awesome name, but it's the singing school sorta name. Plus, Dodger of Sheep is just cool.
Dodger of Sheep does have a unique ring to it. Very funny skit
So that's what all those noises were coming from your room! The neatest thing about having a son is all the boy noises that emit from their rooms, especially when there are friends visiting. Explosions, machine guns,screaming,...it's great!
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