Dear Ralph the First

I "recently" received the following e-mail:

Dear Ralph--
Ok, so like, my boyfriend and I have been having relationship issues lately, and like, the other day we were talking on IM, and I told him I was so way tired of his avatar. So what do you think he did? He like went right then and got this avatar that's a picture from a movie he knows I so totally HATE! Is he trying to say something? Should I take it personally? I think I'm gonna call and tell him he is the biggest loser ever and I am like totally dumping him, or whatever. What do you think? Help me, Ralph!

-- McCayla


Dear McCayla,
In our day and time, internet relationship troubles are becoming an all too common problem. The IM avatar is a powerful expression of individuality, and oftentimes a window into a person's true being, so problems concerning this symbol should be dealt with quickly and thoroughly.
There are two possible explanations to your boyfriends behavior, both of them troubling.
1. He's not taking the avatar seriously, in which case he is really not the kind of person you would want to be with. A guy who jokes around about something as important as the Buddy Icon will invariably prove to be out of touch with reality or something like that.
2. He is taking the icon seriously, which would mean if he changed it to something he knows you despise, he's sending powerful signals about how he feels about the relationship. By changing his avatar to a symbol he knows will cause conflict, he's expressing that he doesn't feel he can relate to you, or that you can't understand him. In either case, it's a bad thing.
So, after careful examination and consideration, I have arrived at the following conclusion: Dump the loser. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, McCayla, since breakups are always painful, but trust me, I'm doing you a favor.

Ralph