Why Unicorns?

A good question. I don't know why I decided to write this about unicorns. This was written back when I thought I wanted to be a writer, and I was writing down all sorts of strange things. I think I just used all of the forms of the verb "write." Oh, wait, I missed one. So here's what I wrote.

Unicorns are, at their essence, quite grumpy creatures. You didn't know? Oh, I see. You've been put under the assumption that unicorns are grand, mysterious animals of a noble quality. Which they are, I suppose. A more apt description of a unicorn's character would be as follows: aloof, touchy, easily angered and offended, and just plain grumpy. And why not? If you had crowds of people constantly barging in on you at breakfast, lunch, or any other conceivable meal to "ooh" and "ahh" and point and stare or, much worse, try to saw your one and only horn off (it has healing properties, you know) wouldn't you be a bit on edge? Wouldn't you go to length to avoid those staring, unbearably intrusive crowds of people? Wouldn't you feel the least bit upset if, despite your best efforts, one of these crowds did manage to find you?
So we see that that the tales of the unicorn's majestic, enigmatic nature all derive from the beast's desire to avoid human contact. Or any type of contact for that matter. They just want to be left alone. I don't think that this was always the case, however. I have heard that there was a time when unicorns were positively gregarious. This, or course, was before humans came into the picture, and there really wasn't anyone else for unicorns to be gregarious to except other unicorns. I mean, there was the occasional satyr, centaur, or dragon (and these last were very occasional indeed) but back in those times most creatures kept themselves to themselves.
Gorfund was one such creature, a unicorn as I'm sure it doesn't surprise you to learn. Gorfund was as normal and average a young unicorn as you could possibly imagine. He had a glossy, white coat, glossy black eyes, and fine matching glossy gold hooves...


Of this tale, Dodger wrote no more.

A River With No Bridge

Those who reach for the stars most often receive naught but burned fingers for their trouble. And these are the lucky ones. Let us never forget the fact that stars are very, very far away, so it is a rare few indeed whose reach extends to the point of singed appendages. In light of this, is it even worth it to try? What would you want with a star anyways? What would you do if you reached one? Would you engage the star in polite conversation, or invite it to dinner or something? No. You would be too busy melting into your constituent elements. For let us never forget the fact that stars are very, very hot.
You really do not have much to offer a star. I doubt one would find you very entertaining. This is, of course, assuming that the star even notices that you are there. It is a fact that we should never forget that stars are very, very big. You are very small (regardless of how big you might consider yourself compared to other humans, you could take comfort in the thought that on the stellar scale, none of us nudge the needle past zero).
But whatever would you talk with the star about? "So, what color is your corona? Oh...you don't have a corona. Well, does your magnetic field ever feel like it's just not performing like it should? You don't have one of those either? ....So I guess there's no point asking how much gravitational force you exert, is there?" Not a very interesting conversation on the star's part. Your situations in life are too different.
Stars need other stars to give them what they need. You know, to hang out with and orbit and form constellations and explode in fantastic displays of fiery nuclear death. Star stuff. You can't give any of that to a star. Why reach? Burn your fingers on something nearer home.

Oh Really?

A word once spoken to the wind,
It is gone.
Do not strive to take it back.
Do not reach for it.
It has gone; it is fluid now,
And it will run through your hands like water.
The echoes, the ripples it leaves behind will sing through your mind,
But the word is gone.
Can you take a drop from the sea?
Can you sift a breath from the wind?
Can you bring back a word once spoken?

For Wilson

I just watched the movie Castaway. Call me crazy (and plenty of people have) but every time I see that movie or read Robinson Crusoe or something like that, I find myself wishing that I could be stranded on a desert island. Not to "get away from it all", but to survive. There's a part of me that wants to get out there, to test myself against the elements, to run around in a loin cloth and kill fish with a spear. Note that I said "test myself." I just noted it. Maybe it's some king of masculine ego thing that makes me feel the need to prove myself in the wild. I mean, I know the measure of a man is not how many things he can make out of a stalk of bamboo, but still, that feeling is there. I can't help but wonder if I would have what it takes to survive in that kind of situation, or would I be soft from pumping too many hours (and hours...and hours...let's be honest here) into this computer or into some other facet of my sedentary lifestyle? I mean seriously, how much time do I spend sitting down? It kind of makes me sick to think about it.
So if I all of a sudden go running off into the woods one day, you'll know what happened.

No One Left Behind

"And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day."

John 6:39

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all, and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. I and my Father are one."

John 10:27-30

The Rock Beneath the Sea

Is love deeper than a feeling? It is, I think. For, at its essence, love is not really a feeling at all, but a choice. Certain other feelings arise out of love: affection, devotion, desire, but these are not love; these are emotions, and they are as changing and inconstant as a sea: raging in a violent storm on one day, barely the whisper of a breeze the next.
But love, true love is not a sea or a storm. Love is the rock, the earth above which these transient weathers fly. Steady, immovable, it endures the ebb and flow of the passions. Love is the choice, the declaration saying, "I will honor and care for you in spite of all my changing feelings, not because of them."

The Wheels on the Bus

Let's talk about trust in human relationships.
Observe:
When you find out that someone likes/has a thing for/is infatuated with/whateveryouwanttocallit you, you can no longer trust that person. "But wait, isn't that sort of backwards?" you may ask "Wouldn't you know you would be able to trust him/her because they have feelings for you and would never want to betray you?" You would think so. But that's not what happens. You can no longer tell this person anything. Why? Because they are paying attention. When next you unburden yourself to them, everything you say will be weighed, meticulously examined, and, worst of all, remembered. You see, normally when you speak to a friend about an emotionally confusing issue, they will kindly listen to what you have to say (because they're nice people), nod in all the right places, and then promptly forget the whole thing. That's the way these things are supposed to work. It preserves the Circle of Trust. Since the issue was forgotten, it cannot be spread abroad. But, if the person you are using as a sounding board happens to like you (that way) then they will constantly be evaluating your comments, thinking "Ok, how does this apply to me? Is he talking about me there? How can I use this?" Do you see what happened? All of a sudden your problem is not about you anymore. It's about them. And, since it's their problem, the next time they feel the need to talk, they will have no reservations whatsover in divulging what you told them in confidence. It's not that they do it maliciously, it's just that they no longer perceive it as being your secret.
So, the best thing to do when you learn that a person to whom you have been pouring out your soul is enjoying that soul-pouring a bit too much, is to break contact. I don't mean totally exclude them, just don't let them be your secret keeper anymore. Then, go find someone who you have absolutely zero chances with, or better yet, someone already in a relationship, and use them as your go-to person. However, be careful in this step. If you are particularly good-looking, or charming, or a combination of the two, then when you open up and show your vulnerable side, you may end up creating "feelings" in the person you are sharing your innermost self with.
And then you're back to the same problem you started out with.














(Note: The above post was written tongue-in-cheek, and the reader is discouraged from making in life/relationship altering decisions based upon it.)

Libria anyone?

An Excerpt From
Suffer the Aged to Come
by Jeff Carrol

Peace is an illusion. It is a mad dream propagated by those who refuse to awaken to the reality that so long as man exists, so will war. The brief peaces that give these dreamers their false hope are just that: brief peaces; short intervals between bloodshed; a moment to catch one's breath before plunging back into the fray. Are the ones who advocate a world at peace blind? Can they not see that our world, the real world, is a world of conflict? Are they deaf to the sounds of war that rage unchecked day after day? A fool's dream, this world peace. Oh, a noble aspiration, to be sure, but unattainable. Why? The chief problem is man. We are creatures of emotion; driven by them. It is not cold reason or logic that we answer to, but the volatile heart of man. Anger, ambition, fear, these are the spurs that drive us to conflict; these are the sparks that light war's flame. These emotions are ingrained in every human being. They are universal; inescapable. The day you can stop our emotions is the day you can stop war.

This Is

For those nursing long-distance relationships, something to ponder:

Distance does not allow imperfections.

Italy Pics Part II (yes, there is actually a part II)

Sorry this took so long, but no one mentioned how darned bothersome it is to upload a bunch of pictures onto Blogger. Since posting the last batch, I've been just putting it off and putting it off...but, here it is now. These pictures are from Sorrento, Pompeii, and then there are a fmore of Rome. Enjoy.



That's Sorrento. Quite possibly the most beautiful place I've ever been.


Here's how we got down to the water.



And this is what we saw.






Pompeii.



I believe the literal translation was "Maximus was here."









This is how well preserved this place is.



Pompeii's killer: Vesuvius.

Back in Rome now. The Pantheon.

I really like the light in this picture.

The Trevi fountain.

All Right, Already...(Italy Pics, Part I)

"Post now or you'll never do it", eh? HA! I laugh at you. Here are the pictures from Italy. This isn't all of them, but it should give you a pretty good idea of my trip. Enjoy.


First up we have pictures from Rome.
This was our room. It was one of the larger ones in the hotel.




And a few shots from the city.














Outside the Colosseum.

Inside the Colosseum.

The Arch of Constantine.

Look at the detail on this thing...

On to the Vatican.

Here we have St. Peter's Bascilica.





Some sculpture that everyone kept talking about...

A lot of steps...

..to the top of the Bascilica...

...but well worth it.

While cleaning the kitchen this evening...

Whitney: "I must have some disease that makes me go to the bathroom after I eat..."

Me: "Yeah, it's called digestion."

There and Back Again

To a certain someone, this post will seem very familiar. Since I am lazy, I took an email that I wrote and modified to form my Italy post. Pictures will follow in the next few days, I promise.

I consider myself extremely blessed to have had the chance to go to Italy. It was an amazing trip. I saw all the big stuff. And I mean big. Colosseum, Arch of Constantine, Pantheon, Trevi Fountain, Vatican, Pompeii. It was fantastic. I took about 250 pictures while I was there, and the highlights will be blogged...sometime.
Let's see, we flew into Rome on Sunday, where we stayed for two days. The first day, the weather was absolutely perfect. So we set out almost immediately (we took a short nap to help with the jet lag) to explore the city of Rome. That place is beautiful. I was taking pictures like crazy until my uncle slowed me down. Seriously, you could point your camera in any direction, at any spot in that city and come away with a great picture. I just liked walking around there. Good thing too, because that's how we got everywhere.
We went to the Colosseum first, and lucked out because Sunday was European Heritage Day, and admission was free (11 euros saved right off the bat!) Then we ate supper at some sidewalk restaurant. The food in Italy is delicious. All of it. The whole time we were there I had no bad food.
The next day it rained, but that wasn't so bad since we slept until nearly one in the afternoon (jet lag again...). That day we went to the Vatican. I can't really describe it adequately in words, but when you see the pictures, just know that they don't give real sense of the enormity of the Basilica.
Then, we took a train south to Sorrento, one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. The city is built right on the cliffs of the Mediterranean. Again, words cannot do it justice, but I have many pictures. On the second day in Sorrento, we took a short train ride to Pompeii. We spent three hours there, and didn't see even half of it. I knew it was a city, but that didn't really sink in until I got there. It's a city. The whole thing. It was like stepping back in time nearly 2,000 years. Sometimes, when I walked the quieter parts of the city (there were thousands of people there) I could almost hear the noise of everyday life as it was in 76 A.D, could almost see the villagers. I wonder who walked down the same road I did, whose house I was walking through. It was a really amazing place.
We then went back to Rome for another day before we flew home. We saw the things we didn't on our first days. One of those sights was the Capuchin Crypt. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. A series of tombs decorated with the bones of Capuchin monks. By decorated I mean, there were vertebra arranged in decorative fashions on the ceiling, ribs made intricate patterns on walls, even the lanterns were made completely of bones. Human bones. Weird stuff. Do a Google Image search for it. After that was the loooong flight home. We got in about 11:00 pm on Friday. Having about eighteen hours of sunlight is weird...
And did I mention how much I love flying? Man, I had about as much fun going to and coming from Italy as I did when I was actually there. When you break through the cloud layer, and the sun is shining everywhere, it's beautiful. The cloudscape is the most breathtakingly brilliant thing I saw on the whole trip. My face was glued to the window of the plane. Once again, God shows that He can out do man's best efforts with just some water and dirt.

I'm Baaaack....

The Dodger has landed. I got home last night (after nearly 24 hours without sleep...those time zone changes kill ya) and I thouroghly enjoyed my trip. Italy met and maybe even exceeded all of my expectations. And you know, I feel more strongly now that even with all of our quirks, problems, and bad habits, America is still the greatest country on Earth. It's good to be home.
Trip pictures are forthcoming.

Into the Blue

As most of you probably know, I will be leaving for Italy on Saturday. This will be my greatest adventure yet. My uncle and I will be flying out of Atlanta in the afternoon, we'll layover in Paris, and then come into Rome. Six days I shall be abroad. Three in ancient Roma, two in beautiful Sorrento, and then back to Rome for the final day. Mine eyes shall behold sights viewed by emperor's, my feet walk paths tred for thousands of years. It doesn't even seem real. I would deeply appreciate it if you would all keep my uncle and me in your prayers. Pray that we will have a safe journey, free from complications and full of fun. And also pray that the Pope doesn't tick off any more Muslims while I'm over there. I'll try to take plenty of pictures to share, and maybe I'll brave the horrendous long-distance charges and post a brief audioblog...but on second thought, maybe not.

Brisk and Bubbly

A little something I did for composition today. Don't you wish you went to my school?



A Brief Observation
on the
Lives and Social Habits
of
Trolls

Upon first reading this title, you may have asked yourself, "What more is there to know about trolls? They live in caves, they eat rocks, and they smash
things. That's about it, right?" While those are legitimate facts of troll life, they are too superficial. They fail to show the true depth and complexity of troll culture. To truly understand trolls, the questions one must ask are: What do trolls like so much about caves? How are they able to eat rocks? Why do they smash things?
These are the questions that I will attempt to answer in this composition, and I hope that by doing so, I will have given you a greater appreciation for all things trollish.
First of all, we will examine the common troll's habitation: the cave. It is a well established fact that most troll caves are merely round repositories for rotting refuse and repulsive rubbish. But there is more to it than that. Trolls live in caves for several reasons. For example, trolls are big and so are caves, so it is a natural match. Also, caves are very easy to take care of, which trolls find attractive as they are not too fond of home maintainence. Trolls usually attempt to settle in a cave that is situated on a cliff or moutainside; the reason being that the elevation provides ample oppurtunities to throw large, heavy objects onto smaller, more fragile objects below.
Another feature that attracts trolls to caves is the abundance of rocks, which trolls eat. You see, trolls love to eat. It is one of their favorite activities. When a troll first moves into an area, he will immediately set out to consume anything edible in that region. This usually does not take very long, and accounts for the barreness of the land around most troll caves. Soon there is nothing left for the troll to eat except rocks. Rocks are difficult to chew, even for trolls, and it takes quite a while for a troll to eat any significant number of them. To date, no known troll has ever eaten the entire available number of rocks in his cave; either dying or moving on to more flavorfully diverse lands before the supply is exhausted.
If there is one thing that trolls like more than eating, it is smashing things. Why? Trolls just find this fun. Every troll has a large stick that he carries with him everywhere he goes. This is referred to by experts as a "troll stick". Trolls are immensely attached to their wooden clubs and will go to great lengths to keep the same one.
After a marathon of smashing, a troll can be observed to sit in his cave for long periods of time, painstakingly picking the smallest fragments of smashed objects out of his troll stick. The only known regular social gathering of trolls is for something they refer to as "Big Smash". This is an event in which large numbers of trolls will gather and proceed to smash anything and everything they can get their sticks on. It is truly an inspiring spectacle to witness (from a safe distance, of course).
I hope that after reading this essay you have a new respect for trolls and their ways. I hope that you recognize them for the interesting creatures they are, and will not simply dismiss them as nasty, brutish, and stupid, although these are qualities that they certainly posess.

A.D. Mundle

Professor of Trollology at The University

In Which I Wax...Something...

I know this is how most of my posts start, but the other day I was thinking. I was wondering how we got our measure of time. I mean, who decided that the length of a second was a second? I was thinking about waaaay back, when they were trying to figure out how to measure this whole day thing, what constant rhythm did they have to go by? So I was sitting there thinking (caution: it gets a little semi romantic here)when I noticed my heart. Thump, thump, thump...about a second apart... And it hit me: Time is measured in heartbeats.

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Cripes

I have just been struck by the absurdity of hair. How strange is it to have this huge mass of...stuff on top of your head? Think about it. It's just funny.

Surprised?

Sweet. I just about broke the two month mark with my posting interval. As you probably noticed, I haven't had too much free time (clever, eh?) lately. To be more precise, I haven't had too much free time to post on my blog. I chose to do other things instead. They were important, trust me. But, to relieve you of your Graham Deprivation I have prepared the following post. I thought we'd do something light, just to get back into the swing of things:

Thoughts on the Driving Force Behind Human Progress

Now, I have actually given this some thought, and I have come to the conclusion that, however paradoxical it may seem, the driving force that motivates humans to improve their level of technology and such is laziness. Think about it. The vast majority of what we consider great technological advancements are labor saving devices. Man was too lazy to walk everywhere, so he invented a car. Tired of swinging that big hunk of sharp, heavy metal to kill your opponent in battle? Well, here we have the gun, requiring only enough effort to aim and pull the trigger. Man was too lazy to do all of those boring, complicated math equations himself, so we have the computer. Too much trouble to light that candle for illumination? With electricity and light bulbs, all you have to do is flip a switch.
If you wonder why there have been so many advances in technology recently, it is because this generation is much lazier than previous ones, and is therefore more motivated to find ways to get out of work. It follows that the lazier we become, the higher our civilization will advance in terms of our technological level. So do your part! The more time you spend lying around watching TV, the closer we are to finding a cure for cancer, or inventing a warp drive engine!
I want that warp engine real soon, so I'm going to stop expending mental and physical energy typing this post. Cheers.