For His Mercy Endureth Forever

Remembering that I am  lower that dust apart from You.

Ever sinning against Your Holy Name.

Praying the prayer of so many times before.

Each time bringing an offering of broken promises.

Neverending mercy is given in return.

Tell me once again that I am forgiven, and that I am Yours.

Some Things are Always Good

Well, I feel like writing something...but it's late (or early, depending on how you look at it) so I don't feel like writing something long. So, I'll leave you with a beautiful piece of music. Give it a listen if you have nine or so minutes to spare. You won't be sorry.

Oh, And Lord, About Our Enemies...Ignore Their Heathen Prayers

I like this song, and this video is very entertaining. The girls on the platforms crack me up.

We used to have good music.

Some Have It Good

This evening I was feeling a bit down due to the fact that most of us in my Physics class have no idea what's going on at the moment. So while walking along and wondering what on earth was going to happen to me on this next test, I called up my brother to complain a little. Now, my brother is a nurse, and after I told him what was going on in my schooling he proceeded to tell me what was going on in his.

After a few minutes of conversation that would not be appropriate to post on this blog, he wrapped up his talk with this advice: 

"Well, Graham, if you're ever feeling down about physics, just be glad you're not wrist deep in part of someones body."

And suddenly the day was better.

Man After God's Own Heart: Part II

A bit shorter this time.

A few more aspects gleaned from chapters 18 and 19 of I Samuel. It says many times in these chapters that David "behaved himself wisely." Wisdom is crucial to a man after God's own heart, for God Himself is wise. He IS Wisdom. Wisdom would be the practical application of all that trust in God that you have. In fact, trust in God is essential for wisdom. In James, it says that we must ask for wisdom, but we must ask in faith. We have to trust that God will give it to us like He said.

"Behaved himself wisely." Why would it say this? Well, could one think of wisdom as knowing how to behave in any given situation? The Bible has all of these answers and is the only source of wisdom. So this is what we see: A man after God's own heart trusts God and is wise. Because he trusts God completely and views Him as his only source of any good thing, then he will recognize God as the only source of wisdom and diligently seek for it in His word like Proverbs says he should do. Also, he will ask for wisdom and believe that God will give it to him (again, complete trust). As a result, he will gain wisdom and will know how to handle himself in any given situation. He will be able to behave himself wisely.

What a great system.

The Reality Check

So, the other day, I was sitting at my computer and congratulating myself over the little cello and violin duet I had composed. In all seriousness, it really was nothing special, not even a whole page. But it looked so nice and professional, thanks to Finale Notepad2005, the program I used to transcribe it. And when Finale played it for me, in all its MIDI file glory, it sounded very nice. 

I was preening.

Then I see a link to a site where other Finale composers can go and upload their creations for people view and listen to and so on. 

"Well," I smugly say to myself, "since I really and truly am a composer now, I guess I should head over there and see what's what."

I log on, and do you know what I find?

I'll tell you.

A magnificent, seven movement symphony that is hundreds of pages of music and takes my breath away when I listen to it, MIDI sound or no. 

That someone just thought up.

Preening = end.

A Man After God's Own Heart: Part I

In my recent studying (the kind that matters) I have been focusing on David. The Bible calls him a man after God's own heart, and I want to find out what that means. Because that is the type of man that I want to be. So I'll be posting what I'm learning a little bit along for you to read and think about. This first post is really long. Just a warning.

In my first readings, I am struck with how often it says "The Lord was with David." I want the Lord to be with me. I want to feel Him leading and directing me. so I decided to study David and find out what it was that made him a man after God's own heart, and then seek to copy those characteristics. I don't think it is just one thing that gave David such a title, but rather the whole person that he was.

I have been reading the Psalms for weeks now, and the first thing I have learned comes from these poems, most of which were written by David. The entire first half of this book is one long cry out to God. David trusted God completely, and saw Him as his only source of strength, guidance, and protection. Whenever David was faced with a trial, his first reaction was to go to God for strength. When confronted with enemies, David cried to God for deliverance instead of trusting in his own strength and skill in war. Over and over again David refers to God as his Rock, his Strong Tower, his Strength and Deliverer. He knew where his protection was, he knew that strength could only come from one place.

So here I think we have the first characteristic of a man after God's own hear: complete trust in and reliance on God. A man after God's own heart must make god his first line of defense in a trial instead of a last resort. god must the his only source of strength and wisdom. Any advice received from man must be evaluated in light of God's Word and instruction.

Does David show these attitudes in his life and not merely his poems? Is there action along with the pretty words? There is. The earliest account of David shows us how he acted as a result of his trust in God.

The story of David and Goliath is one that everyone knows, but it is a story that is rich with teaching. When David comes to the battlefield, he sees the giant taunting the army of Israel, and the "men" of Israel fleeing in fear. David is confused. Why has no one gone out and killed this Philistine? He is defying the armies of the living God. Why are these men afraid? Aren't we God's chosen people? Will He not fight for us?

David was willing to go, to fight. When Saul told him he could not because he was "just a youth", David responded by telling the king that he was not trusting in his own strength. He tells Saul of how God had already delivered him form a lion and a bear before this, and David was trusting in that same God. Listen to how he says it:
"The Lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear, He will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine."

Was Goliath and more dangerous than a lion or a bear? Was he somehow too big of a challenge for God? David didn't think so, and so strong must have been this show of faith and trust, that it convinced King Saul and he let David go. But first he tried to arm him with the weapons and armor of man. David put them off, however. Why? He said, "I cannot go with these, for I have not proved them." What a statement. What did David go with? What had he proved? God. God had proved Himself in that wilderness with the lion and the bear, and that was all the proof that David need to trust in Him completely. I Thess. 5:21 says we are to "Prove all things; hold fast to that which is good." David was holding fast.

So do you see how we need to follow this example? God has already proven Himself to us. You might not remember being saved from a lion or a bear, but we have an even better and surer proof than David did: the cross. This is where God proved Himself once and for all. Because of the cross, we can say boldly when we face our own giants " The Lord which delivered me out of the paw of sin and out of the paw of death, He will deliver me out of the hand of this trial that I am facing."

This is why David trusted in God, and this is why we also can trust in Him.

Eyes Forward

Something I wrote a while back:

Today in church the speaker took his message from Daniel 12. this is a prophecy of future things. It mentions tribulation for God's children, and some people are frightened by this. But why? does that come as a surprise to them? Did not Christ Himself say that "In this life ye shall have tribulation"? It's not like God suckered us in to His service and then sprung a nasty surprise on us. He told us at the outset that it was going to be hard. But He also said this: "If God be for us, who can be against us?"

These prophecies should not cause fear in God's people. In fact, we are to "comfort one another with these words." What could be comforting about a prophecy of persecution? The fact that the prophecy is being made. A God that knows the future is one who is in control of it. That is the comfort. We need not worry about the future because it's not in our hands; it's in hands much bigger and more capable than our own. The future should never frighten one who trusts in God, because the future is His. All of time is His. He created time, after all.

and this was what I thought was the message of Daniel. In chapter 12 the anger gives a prophecy, but it's not very clear. That's alright, though, because we don't have to worry ourselves sick over the specifics. It's enough to know that God knows exactly what is going to happen, and He already knows what He's going to do about it.

So what do we do? Verse 13:

"But go thy way till the end be: for thou shalt rest, and stand in thy lot at the end of the days."

Virtuosity

Ok, I know that posting links is an "easy" way to beef up your post count, but this was just too amazing for me not to post. Just...wow.

A Moment of Classics

This is a song that I heard and liked today, so I thought I would share it with you. Yes, you. Right there. What, do you see anyone else around? I didn't think so. 

So here is the link: IT IS ALL THIS TEXT RIGHT HERE, SO CERTAIN PEOPLE SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE FINDING IT THIS TIME.

Enjoy.

Thoughts On The Way To Class

It was cold. A bone-chilling, breath-taking cold. The kind of cold that slowed the blood and slowed the mind until a man's only thought was that of getting warm again. But he walked on. He had been walking for a long time now; so long that it was a wonder he was still going. He felt like his legs should be hurting by now, but in such bitter cold he had ceased feeling anything in his legs long ago. Now they only moved as if by habit, like a pendulum set in motion and forgotten. Onward. One step more into deep, unfriendly snow. And another step. It was an unconcious action, one which was only given any thought when a particularly fierce gust of wind upset its rhythm. That was the worst part: the wind. You've heard of wind like knives? This was wind like axes. Spears. Large, two-handed broadswords with jagged edges swung by demons' arms. I suppose you've heard of howling wind as well. This wind did not howl. It was the raging battle cry from the throats of an army. It came charging down from the mountains like death on his pale horse.

Then there was the snow. Ah, the snow. A snow that grabbed at legs and limbs and would not let go without a fight. Each step struggle worth three.

Why would a man brave such cold and wind and snow?

He did not know. He had forgotten. 

He only knew that he must keep moving forward.

So call me dramatic.

A Favor

I really like this song and wanted to share. I am interested...so please leave a comment saying what emotion this song made you feel. I won't put mine here because it might influence yours. I will post it as a comment, though, so don't read the comments until after listening to the song. We'll see how this goes.

The Wind That Blew Through Ever Vernal Gardens

Sitting down to right a post,

I thought about what mattered most

For me to write about.

I swiftly come to the conclusion

That it would merely cause confusion

If I tried to force it out.

For a topic to be good to me

It must come most naturally

And not be contrived and artificial.

Too much structure, too much planning

And you'll find your post is spanning

The lands of Bland and Superficial.

A poem, then, would be the key.

No structure in this post you'll see.

Because it just ends.

Like this.

Quiet Beauty

Tonight, and some of this morning too, I guess, I sat outside alone in the dark. You might think this is a very strange thing to do, and maybe it was. But I enjoyed it, and here's why: it was beautiful.

"Beautiful? What are you talking about? It was a cloudy, winter night. No stars, not leaves, no light." 

But there are many different kinds of beauty. Tonight, because it was cloudy, the trees stood out in stark silhouette against the clouds. I thought it was a very beautiful thing. It was very still, and very very quiet.

Then every so often, a light breeze would come through and stir the silhouettes. Gently they would rock, back and forth. The sound they made was the gentlest rustle, the kind that could only be made on a winter midnight. Beautiful to see. Beautiful to hear.

We live in a very beautiful world, you know that? Everyone knows about sunsets, sunrises, waterfalls, and mountain views, but how many other beautiful things are out there that we haven't seen? Quiet things, like watching bare trees dance against a cloudy winter sky, or the whisper of dry leaves in the wind.

The Artist who painted this world hid masterpieces everywhere.

A Masterpiece

I was in the woods for a few hours this afternoon and thought about writing a poem about it. But then I realized that the real poetry was being there. So if you want to read my poem, go outside.

Iron

You've heard the question, "What are friends for?" more times than you can count. Probably all of those times, it wasn't asked expecting an answer. But let's ask it for real. What are friends for? I know. I read it somewhere.

"A friend loveth at all times. And a brother is born for adversity."

Proverbs 17:17

That's what friends are for. That's what your brother, your family of God is for. A friend loveth at all times. Not just when you're feeling good and it's easy and convenient. But all of the time. No matter what. No matter what you say or do, they love you. But they especially love you when you are troubled, when the adversary has worn down your walls until they crumble and then kicks you while you're down. This is what your friends were born for. This is when they can truly step up and be more than people you talk to and see movies with. This is when they can be friends. True friends. This is when they can rally around you and hold you up, give you words of encouragment, advice, or just listen and say nothing at all. It's what they were born for!

What an amazing thought to know that there are people born to help you through your hard times.

But you think this brother of yours is pretty good? I read something else, too. About a friend that is closer than a brother. Because these friends you have, in spite of how wonderful they are, have one little flaw. They're human. They're sinners. That means they mess up sometimes. But this Friend...this Friend doesn't have that problem. You see, He's perfect. And even though you might run into something where even your closest friends are at a loss, this Friend always knows what to say. He always knows what to do. He knows everything. He cannot fail you. He's not the failing type. 

And as if Himself was not enough, He saw fit to give you the other friends that you have.

So the next time someone asks you what they're for, now you know.

Thank God for them.

Waterfalls Upsidedown

We human beings really are creatures of habit, aren't we? Take pants, for example. Now don't get caught up in the mindboggling question of exactly what a pant is and how we can have a pair of them (like underwear...and pair of underwear? I only have one on...and what forms of that word do you use? Pants makes sense. One pant, two pants, a pair of pants. But underwear? One underwear, two underwear, a pair of underwear? Underwears Underweari? Ok, I need to follow my own advice...)

And way, take pants. That's a figure of speach. If you have physically taken a pair of pants at this time, you can put them back. Especially if they don't belong to you. What I meant, you literal, pants-stealing person, was consider pants. I almost always put them on right leg first, then left leg. Always. It's just the way things are. But this morning, I did something very strange: I put them on left leg first! At first, I was scared. I didn't exactly know what was going on, it was all so strange and new. I felt off balance...disjointed. But, eventually I got over it. Everything started to feel alright. After all, putting your pants on left let first really isn't wrong, it's just different. I felt like my horizons had been expanded! Like I had subtley shifted my perception of life. What other strange and wonderful things would happen to me today? If just putting my pants on differently could have this sort of effect, what would happen if I brushed my teeth left-handed, or shaved with my eyes closed?

Later on, with toothpaste and blood all over my face, I reconsidered my decision to change up my morning routine in this way. I have decided to continue putting my pants on right leg first.

Completely Random

It is a little strange to think that since I learned how, I have never gone a day without walking. Everyday I have had fingers to move, I have moved every one of them. Since I have known how to talk, I have talked everyday. And since the very first moment I was alive, I haven't gone a day without seeing another person. Interesting...so if I spent an entire day alone, lying perfectly still and not saying anything, then I would have at least four firsts on my hands. Five really, since I have never spent a whole day lying down.

Not About the Election...At All

"On top of spaghetti,
all covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball
When somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table,
And into the floor.
And then my poor meatball,
Just rolled out the door."

It was a very sad and traumatic experience, and I don't think I've quite gotten over it. Not even after my therapist suggested that I write this song about it to, how did he put it..."release my pent up negativity before it grew to dangerous levels and consumed me in a raging torrent of frustration, loss, and self-loathing" or something equally encouraging. My therapist is a bit of a drama queen. I really don't think he's doing much good either, because even after three years of therapy I still can't get over the loss of that meatball. Surely even the crappiest therapist would have helped a little by now, but I still feel the same. It's like it was only yesterday I was sitting at that table, the smell of spaghetti sauce heavy in the air and they put down in front of me a plate of the delicious noodles, covered with Parmesan like white gold. And there, right on top of all that delicious Italian goodness was the most glorious meatball I had ever laid eyes on. My mouth, which had already been watering, now seemed to be trying to outdo Niagara Falls. I was either going to have to eat that meatball now, or find a bucket. But it was not to be! Oh! Even thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes...I feel again the gut-wrenching sorrow and pain of loss as I watched, as if in slow motion, the most horrible tragedy unfold before me. My uncle Mortimer is extremely allergic to cashews. But there weren't any cashews there, so he had no excuse! He sneezed for no reason at all! It was as if all the cruel fates of the universe were conspiring at this one instant to keep me and my meatball from our gastronomical bliss...My uncle Mortimer was seated right across from me, and I could see it coming. A sniffle...a twitch...I could see how his face began to spasm and contort in ways that no human face should. It was like some hell-spawned demon had possessed him for this one act of unspeakable evil. Then the mighty rush of wind! Like a storm from the north it rushed on dark wings right towards my meatball...my poor meatball...My meatball which was borne aloft on that fierce wind and carried to its certain doom. In my weakness, I ducked out of the way as the meatball flew off its perch of spaghetti. Curse this body and its reactions! If only I had been stronger...if only I had stood my ground I could have saved it. But I cowered in the floor, paralyzed by shock and the inhumanity of it all, and all I could do was watch as my meatball bounced along the table, and came crashing to the floor. But even this was not the end! Not content to just have my meatball sullied with the contagions and filth of the ground, whatever evil forces were driving the events that day continued their foul mission, rolling the meatball across the ground and right out the door. Never to be seen again.
I hung my head.
And I wept.

Three long years since that day, and the wound feels as fresh as ever. Even writing this down like my therapist suggested has only made me feel worse. I lost a part of myself that day, and I do not think I will ever be whole again.

And What Have You Done for Me Lately?

And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin.
Jesus saith unto them, "Loose him, and let him go."
John 11:44

At the risk of overspiritualizing this, think about it with me for a moment. Isn't this what Christ has done for all of us? He brought us from death unto life. But not only did He do that, He didn't leave us wrapped up and bound in our old sins and ways. He freed us from them, and they have no power over us anymore unless we let them.
He loosed us, and let us go.
We are bound no more, so we are free to run to Him.