The Sanctum

Update on CRU Climate Scandal

2009-12-03T20:34:00.002-06:00

Quick update:
Last week, following the leak of hundreds of emails and documents which seem to indicate the massaging of data in order to make it conform more to their agenda (see links previous post) scientists at the East Anglia University Climate Research Unit (one of the leading climate research organizations in the world, upon whose recommendation many of the new policies regulating greenhouse gas emissions have been formed) have released their data files to the public.
It appears that a lot of it was messy, inconsistent, and totally useless.

Here are a couple of links to some discussions of one of the mast damning files, the HARRY_READ_ME.txt file, which is basically a three year log of a CRU tech's struggle to make sense of their climate modeling program. Keep in mind that the CRU bases its predictions on this program's results, and this is influences its recommendations to governments.

(Note: Some of the people writing these discussions are pretty upset and sometimes express themselves...colorfully.)

You can read the file itself here (it's very long):
Link

Here is a discussion of some of the more troubling points in the file:
Link

I have not heard much about this in the mainstream media, but the HARRY_READ_ME.txt file was the second most searched for item on Google a few days ago, so word is getting out somehow.
Read the file, the discussions, peruse some of the coverage on the internet, and see what you think.

Evidence of Global Warming Hoax? You Decide.

2009-11-21T21:52:00.004-06:00

Anyone interested in the climate change debate should check out these links here. I doubt you'll hear the media give this much coverage, so you'll have to learn about it yourself.

http://www.google.com/trends/hottrends?q=*&sa=X&date=2009-11-20

http://www.climatedepot.com/

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100017393/climategate-the-final-nail-in-the-coffin-of-anthropogenic-global-warming/

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/20/AR2009112004093_pf.html

A Quandry

2009-09-15T13:24:00.000-05:00

If all of my friends say not to give in to peer pressure....what do I do?

More Thoughts on the Way to Class

2009-09-03T16:14:00.003-05:00

Stairs cut into a hillside are a restriction.
They say, "Hey! You can't go up the hill there! Only here! This is the only place you can climb this hill, buddy!"
Don't put limits on me like that.

Beginnings

2009-06-09T19:52:00.003-05:00

The man's journey began simply enough: a single step, which turned into another, and then another, and then before he knew it he had walked a thousand miles.
The child's life began simply enough: a single breath, a single year, which was followed by another, and then the years kept coming, and before he knew it, the child had lived an entire life.
The woman's love began simply enough. A single thought, which became a hope, which became a dream, which became a dream come true. And then before she knew it, she had loved more deeply than she had ever known.
The man's betrayal began simply enough. A passing glance, an impure thought, a quiet conversation. And then before he knew it, he had thrown away everything that was most precious to him.
Be mindful of your beginnings; every one of them has an end.

A Call to Arms?

2009-05-24T21:56:00.002-05:00

There is something wrong with the church today. We are fractured. We are disunited and suspicious of one another. Why is this? It is the work of Satan, the deceiver. He has come among us and confused us so much that we have lost sight of the enemy, and we think that it is us. What can a Captain do with an army that turns upon itself? And what can the true enemy do but sit back and laugh at all of us with our swords turned upon one another? The army of God stationed here on earth is paralyzed with infighting and we wonder why the world is becoming increasingly dark. Do you know why? Because the light of the world is too busy arguing over which one of us is the real light to go out and shine. We must stop this pointless, time-wasting bickering. We must unite.

I am not so naive as to think we could do away with all denominations and just be Christians. Though I long for that with all my heart, I know that as long as there is more than one man in the world, there will be more than one way of seeing things. An army is made up of many companies, and each might have its own way of interpreting the field manual. But as long as they are all loyal to the same Captain and follow His orders, then they are all on the same side. And this is the only division that really matters: loyalty to the Captain of our salvation, our Lord Jesus Christ. The Bible only distinguishes between two kinds of people: the church and the world; those who believe that Christ is God, and those who do not. If you believe that Christ is God, and that He came into the the world to save sinners from their sins, that He died and was buried and rose again the third day and accomplished the work He came to do, then there is one thing I can say to you: Welcome, brother.

When the eunuch asked Philip if he could be baptized, what did Philip say? Did he ask him who all he thought was going to Heaven? Did he care whether the eunuch thought they should have harps in the synagogue or not? Did he ensure he understood the five points of Calvinism? No. He asked him a simple question: Do you believe? The eunuch's answer was, Yes, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. And that was enough. Philip stopped that chariot and baptized the man. Why worry about who we think is going to be in Heaven? We'll find out when we get there! And I don't remember seeing the name Calvin anywhere in the Bible, so I don't really care what he thinks. All we should care about is what Jesus said, and then following that.

In Mark 9:38, John comes to Jesus and tells Him that they found a man who was casting out devils in Christ's name, but they told him to stop because he wasn't part of their little group; their little church. How could this guy be doing any good if he's not a member of our church? I mean hey, we're as good as it gets, we've got Jesus right here! But Jesus tells them to leave him alone. He said if the man was doing miracles in Christ's name, then He could not be against Christ. And if he's not against Christ, then he's on our side. What was important to Jesus Himself, the One all of us are trying to please? It wasn't membership, it was His name. He cared about whether the man believed on Him and was doing these works in His name. He then goes on to say that anyone who does a good work, even if it is just giving a drink of water, in the Son's name is worthy of a reward in God's eyes. But the disciples must have touched on something important to Jesus, because He keeps going. He says in v. 42 that anyone who offends (trips up, vexes, rejects) one who "believes in me", it would be better for them in God's eyes to be dead. Because face it, this is what happens when you try to swim with a millstone on your neck. Then in v. 43-49 Jesus sounds like He's chastising the disciples. He tells them that they can worry all they want to about keeping themselves straight. Worry about their own hands and feet and eyes. But not once did Christ say it was alright to cut off another's hand and cast it into Hell. He says His followers should be focused on cutting out of their lives anything that would offend or hinder them, and as they do this, they will work towards becoming that salt of the world, the salt that preserves and flavors the world. But if the children's focus gets off, if they start trying to cut each other up instead of the sin in their own lives, then the salt has lost its saltness, and is good for nothing. So He sums it up in v. 50 and says that we should have salt in ourselves and "be at peace with one another."

"Graham, this sounds dangerously like you are saying, 'Hey, it doesn't matter what we believe, as long as we love Jesus,'" you might say. I do not mean to say that doctrine is unimportant. It is very important. You should strive to learn all you can about what the Bible says about everything, about what you believe and why you believe it, and what the proof for it is. Because there is a truth, and there can be only one truth or it wouldn't be the truth. But don't study the Bible so that you can beat someone over the head with it and win an argument. And don't forget that we should all be searching for the same truth. It seems that Christ is more concerned with you actually doing what He said to do and serving others than trying to convert everyone to your own particular denomination. Actions speak louder than words, so it might be that while the church is going about doing good, that people might become interested and ask what the reason is for the hope that is in us. This is when the knowledge of doctrine comes into play as you explain to this person what you believe and why.

But let me ask you this: will me and you disagreeing with one another about how many mansions there are in Heaven, or about preservation and perseverance really hinder us from doing good works together? Will it stop us from feeding the poor or visiting the sick? Will it prevent us from really doing the Lord's work as one body?

Let's change our attitude. Let's stop viewing fellow Christians who believe differently than we do as the enemy, as a danger. We need to remember that we are all on the same side. Let us have peace one with another.

The Rest of the Story

2009-05-14T21:31:00.002-05:00

Ponder with me a moment; because if there's one thing wrong with this world, it's that people nowadays hardly ever find time for a good old-fashioned pondering. "Oh, that sounds delightful, Graham!" you say (and you probably say this with a British accent, because this really is the only way for you to use the word "delightful" without it sounding too ridiculous) "What will we be pondering?" Glad you asked.

Which do you think came first: the tongue depressor, or the popsicle stick? I know they are both the same thing, so I suppose it would be more correct to ask to which use the flat, roundy-ended piece of wood was put to first? Think of it: medicine has been around for a long time, but then, so has frozen water. Perhaps someone using the one decided it would be good for the other? I can almost see it now...

Maybe someone had their tonsils removed, and was eating large quantities of ice cream while still in the hospital. I have always heard this is what happens when you have your tonsils removed, but having never actually been through the procedure myself I can't say it with certainty. And why is it that people always list the ice cream as some sort of bonus for getting your tonsils out? "Yeah, I had my tonsils removed, but I got to eat a lot of ice cream!" Well, aren't you special. Look at me, I can eat all the ice cream I want without having minor surgery! Yay me!

Anyways, back the the story. So this person is in the hospital eating their ice cream. The doctor comes in to give them a routine exam (maybe they're about to be discharged. I don't know how these things work, and you probably don't either unless you happen to have worked in a hospital before the era of the popsicle stick).

"Good morning, Mr. Wiggins. How are you feeling this morning?"

Mr. Wiggins, between mouthfuls of ice cream, replies brightly, "Just fine, Doc! Say, this ice cream sure is swell. I always heard that hospital food was supposed to be terrible, but this stuff is great! A little hard and tough to eat with a spoon, but still great! What do you put in it?"

The doctor, wearing the bemused, understanding sort of smile that doctors put on when they aren't listening to a word you've been saying, pulls out his tongue depressor.

"Well, Mr. Wiggins, we'll just give you one last check-up, and then we can get you back home to Mrs. Wiggins."

"But, Doc, there is no Mrs. Wiggins. I told you, she left me for-"

"Isn't that nice. Now say 'aaaahh'."

With little real choice in the matter, Mr. Wiggins allows for his mouth to be examined. The doctor is satisfied.

"Well, Mr. Wiggins, the tonsils look fine. You'll be out of here in no time."

"Gee, thanks Doc! Say, what are you gonna do with that stick thing?"
"Oh, this? Throw it way, I suppose."

"Can I see it? I just had an idea that could make eating this ice cream easier!"

"Well, I don't think I should-"

Mr. Wiggins, the light of invention bright in his eye, does not wait for the good doctor to finish his sentence and seizes the tongue depressor from his hand.

*splat*

"Look, Doc! I'm a genius!"

For His Mercy Endureth Forever

2009-04-25T09:37:00.002-05:00

Remembering that I am lower that dust apart from You.

Ever sinning against Your Holy Name.

Praying the prayer of so many times before.

Each time bringing an offering of broken promises.

Neverending mercy is given in return.

Tell me once again that I am forgiven, and that I am Yours.

Some Things are Always Good

2009-04-16T01:17:00.003-05:00

Well, I feel like writing something...but it's late (or early, depending on how you look at it) so I don't feel like writing something long. So, I'll leave you with a beautiful piece of music. Give it a listen if you have nine or so minutes to spare. You won't be sorry.

Oh, And Lord, About Our Enemies...Ignore Their Heathen Prayers

2009-04-06T19:55:00.005-05:00

I like this song, and this video is very entertaining. The girls on the platforms crack me up.

We used to have good music.

Some Have It Good

2009-03-28T18:58:00.003-05:00

This evening I was feeling a bit down due to the fact that most of us in my Physics class have no idea what's going on at the moment. So while walking along and wondering what on earth was going to happen to me on this next test, I called up my brother to complain a little. Now, my brother is a nurse, and after I told him what was going on in my schooling he proceeded to tell me what was going on in his.

After a few minutes of conversation that would not be appropriate to post on this blog, he wrapped up his talk with this advice:

"Well, Graham, if you're ever feeling down about physics, just be glad you're not wrist deep in part of someones body."

And suddenly the day was better.

Man After God's Own Heart: Part II

2009-03-25T18:48:00.002-05:00

A bit shorter this time.

A few more aspects gleaned from chapters 18 and 19 of I Samuel. It says many times in these chapters that David "behaved himself wisely." Wisdom is crucial to a man after God's own heart, for God Himself is wise. He IS Wisdom. Wisdom would be the practical application of all that trust in God that you have. In fact, trust in God is essential for wisdom. In James, it says that we must ask for wisdom, but we must ask in faith. We have to trust that God will give it to us like He said.

"Behaved himself wisely." Why would it say this? Well, could one think of wisdom as knowing how to behave in any given situation? The Bible has all of these answers and is the only source of wisdom. So this is what we see: A man after God's own heart trusts God and is wise. Because he trusts God completely and views Him as his only source of any good thing, then he will recognize God as the only source of wisdom and diligently seek for it in His word like Proverbs says he should do. Also, he will ask for wisdom and believe that God will give it to him (again, complete trust). As a result, he will gain wisdom and will know how to handle himself in any given situation. He will be able to behave himself wisely.

What a great system.

The Reality Check

2009-03-09T22:22:00.002-05:00

So, the other day, I was sitting at my computer and congratulating myself over the little cello and violin duet I had composed. In all seriousness, it really was nothing special, not even a whole page. But it looked so nice and professional, thanks to Finale Notepad2005, the program I used to transcribe it. And when Finale played it for me, in all its MIDI file glory, it sounded very nice.

I was preening.

Then I see a link to a site where other Finale composers can go and upload their creations for people view and listen to and so on.

"Well," I smugly say to myself, "since I really and truly am a composer now, I guess I should head over there and see what's what."

I log on, and do you know what I find?

I'll tell you.

A magnificent, seven movement symphony that is hundreds of pages of music and takes my breath away when I listen to it, MIDI sound or no.

That someone just thought up.

Preening = end.

A Man After God's Own Heart: Part I

2009-03-06T17:32:00.002-06:00

In my recent studying (the kind that matters) I have been focusing on David. The Bible calls him a man after God's own heart, and I want to find out what that means. Because that is the type of man that I want to be. So I'll be posting what I'm learning a little bit along for you to read and think about. This first post is really long. Just a warning.

In my first readings, I am struck with how often it says "The Lord was with David." I want the Lord to be with me. I want to feel Him leading and directing me. so I decided to study David and find out what it was that made him a man after God's own heart, and then seek to copy those characteristics. I don't think it is just one thing that gave David such a title, but rather the whole person that he was.

I have been reading the Psalms for weeks now, and the first thing I have learned comes from these poems, most of which were written by David. The entire first half of this book is one long cry out to God. David trusted God completely, and saw Him as his only source of strength, guidance, and protection. Whenever David was faced with a trial, his first reaction was to go to God for strength. When confronted with enemies, David cried to God for deliverance instead of trusting in his own strength and skill in war. Over and over again David refers to God as his Rock, his Strong Tower, his Strength and Deliverer. He knew where his protection was, he knew that strength could only come from one place.

So here I think we have the first characteristic of a man after God's own hear: complete trust in and reliance on God. A man after God's own heart must make god his first line of defense in a trial instead of a last resort. god must the his only source of strength and wisdom. Any advice received from man must be evaluated in light of God's Word and instruction.

Does David show these attitudes in his life and not merely his poems? Is there action along with the pretty words? There is. The earliest account of David shows us how he acted as a result of his trust in God.

The story of David and Goliath is one that everyone knows, but it is a story that is rich with teaching. When David comes to the battlefield, he sees the giant taunting the army of Israel, and the "men" of Israel fleeing in fear. David is confused. Why has no one gone out and killed this Philistine? He is defying the armies of the living God. Why are these men afraid? Aren't we God's chosen people? Will He not fight for us?

David was willing to go, to fight. When Saul told him he could not because he was "just a youth", David responded by telling the king that he was not trusting in his own strength. He tells Saul of how God had already delivered him form a lion and a bear before this, and David was trusting in that same God. Listen to how he says it:
"The Lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear, He will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine."

Was Goliath and more dangerous than a lion or a bear? Was he somehow too big of a challenge for God? David didn't think so, and so strong must have been this show of faith and trust, that it convinced King Saul and he let David go. But first he tried to arm him with the weapons and armor of man. David put them off, however. Why? He said, "I cannot go with these, for I have not proved them." What a statement. What did David go with? What had he proved? God. God had proved Himself in that wilderness with the lion and the bear, and that was all the proof that David need to trust in Him completely. I Thess. 5:21 says we are to "Prove all things; hold fast to that which is good." David was holding fast.

So do you see how we need to follow this example? God has already proven Himself to us. You might not remember being saved from a lion or a bear, but we have an even better and surer proof than David did: the cross. This is where God proved Himself once and for all. Because of the cross, we can say boldly when we face our own giants " The Lord which delivered me out of the paw of sin and out of the paw of death, He will deliver me out of the hand of this trial that I am facing."

This is why David trusted in God, and this is why we also can trust in Him.

Eyes Forward

2009-02-02T21:22:00.002-06:00

Something I wrote a while back:

Today in church the speaker took his message from Daniel 12. this is a prophecy of future things. It mentions tribulation for God's children, and some people are frightened by this. But why? does that come as a surprise to them? Did not Christ Himself say that "In this life ye shall have tribulation"? It's not like God suckered us in to His service and then sprung a nasty surprise on us. He told us at the outset that it was going to be hard. But He also said this: "If God be for us, who can be against us?"

These prophecies should not cause fear in God's people. In fact, we are to "comfort one another with these words." What could be comforting about a prophecy of persecution? The fact that the prophecy is being made. A God that knows the future is one who is in control of it. That is the comfort. We need not worry about the future because it's not in our hands; it's in hands much bigger and more capable than our own. The future should never frighten one who trusts in God, because the future is His. All of time is His. He created time, after all.

and this was what I thought was the message of Daniel. In chapter 12 the anger gives a prophecy, but it's not very clear. That's alright, though, because we don't have to worry ourselves sick over the specifics. It's enough to know that God knows exactly what is going to happen, and He already knows what He's going to do about it.

So what do we do? Verse 13:

"But go thy way till the end be: for thou shalt rest, and stand in thy lot at the end of the days."

Virtuosity

2009-01-27T23:55:00.003-06:00

Ok, I know that posting links is an "easy" way to beef up your post count, but this was just too amazing for me not to post. Just...wow.

A Moment of Classics

2009-01-22T18:40:00.002-06:00

This is a song that I heard and liked today, so I thought I would share it with you. Yes, you. Right there. What, do you see anyone else around? I didn't think so.

So here is the link: IT IS ALL THIS TEXT RIGHT HERE, SO CERTAIN PEOPLE SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE FINDING IT THIS TIME.

Enjoy.

Thoughts On The Way To Class

2009-01-18T23:33:00.003-06:00

It was cold. A bone-chilling, breath-taking cold. The kind of cold that slowed the blood and slowed the mind until a man's only thought was that of getting warm again. But he walked on. He had been walking for a long time now; so long that it was a wonder he was still going. He felt like his legs should be hurting by now, but in such bitter cold he had ceased feeling anything in his legs long ago. Now they only moved as if by habit, like a pendulum set in motion and forgotten. Onward. One step more into deep, unfriendly snow. And another step. It was an unconcious action, one which was only given any thought when a particularly fierce gust of wind upset its rhythm. That was the worst part: the wind. You've heard of wind like knives? This was wind like axes. Spears. Large, two-handed broadswords with jagged edges swung by demons' arms. I suppose you've heard of howling wind as well. This wind did not howl. It was the raging battle cry from the throats of an army. It came charging down from the mountains like death on his pale horse.

Then there was the snow. Ah, the snow. A snow that grabbed at legs and limbs and would not let go without a fight. Each step struggle worth three.

Why would a man brave such cold and wind and snow?

He did not know. He had forgotten.

He only knew that he must keep moving forward.

So call me dramatic.

A Favor

2009-01-07T18:04:00.002-06:00

I really like this song and wanted to share. I am interested...so please leave a comment saying what emotion this song made you feel. I won't put mine here because it might influence yours. I will post it as a comment, though, so don't read the comments until after listening to the song. We'll see how this goes.

The Wind That Blew Through Ever Vernal Gardens

2008-12-29T22:28:00.002-06:00

Sitting down to right a post,

I thought about what mattered most

For me to write about.

I swiftly come to the conclusion

That it would merely cause confusion

If I tried to force it out.

For a topic to be good to me

It must come most naturally

And not be contrived and artificial.

Too much structure, too much planning

And you'll find your post is spanning

The lands of Bland and Superficial.

A poem, then, would be the key.

No structure in this post you'll see.

Because it just ends.

Like this.

Quiet Beauty

2008-12-24T00:16:00.003-06:00

Tonight, and some of this morning too, I guess, I sat outside alone in the dark. You might think this is a very strange thing to do, and maybe it was. But I enjoyed it, and here's why: it was beautiful.

"Beautiful? What are you talking about? It was a cloudy, winter night. No stars, not leaves, no light."

But there are many different kinds of beauty. Tonight, because it was cloudy, the trees stood out in stark silhouette against the clouds. I thought it was a very beautiful thing. It was very still, and very very quiet.

Then every so often, a light breeze would come through and stir the silhouettes. Gently they would rock, back and forth. The sound they made was the gentlest rustle, the kind that could only be made on a winter midnight. Beautiful to see. Beautiful to hear.

We live in a very beautiful world, you know that? Everyone knows about sunsets, sunrises, waterfalls, and mountain views, but how many other beautiful things are out there that we haven't seen? Quiet things, like watching bare trees dance against a cloudy winter sky, or the whisper of dry leaves in the wind.

The Artist who painted this world hid masterpieces everywhere.

A Masterpiece

2008-12-22T15:49:00.001-06:00

I was in the woods for a few hours this afternoon and thought about writing a poem about it. But then I realized that the real poetry was being there. So if you want to read my poem, go outside.

Iron

2008-12-16T01:18:00.002-06:00

You've heard the question, "What are friends for?" more times than you can count. Probably all of those times, it wasn't asked expecting an answer. But let's ask it for real. What are friends for? I know. I read it somewhere.

"A friend loveth at all times. And a brother is born for adversity."

Proverbs 17:17

That's what friends are for. That's what your brother, your family of God is for. A friend loveth at all times. Not just when you're feeling good and it's easy and convenient. But all of the time. No matter what. No matter what you say or do, they love you. But they especially love you when you are troubled, when the adversary has worn down your walls until they crumble and then kicks you while you're down. This is what your friends were born for. This is when they can truly step up and be more than people you talk to and see movies with. This is when they can be friends. True friends. This is when they can rally around you and hold you up, give you words of encouragment, advice, or just listen and say nothing at all. It's what they were born for!

What an amazing thought to know that there are people born to help you through your hard times.

But you think this brother of yours is pretty good? I read something else, too. About a friend that is closer than a brother. Because these friends you have, in spite of how wonderful they are, have one little flaw. They're human. They're sinners. That means they mess up sometimes. But this Friend...this Friend doesn't have that problem. You see, He's perfect. And even though you might run into something where even your closest friends are at a loss, this Friend always knows what to say. He always knows what to do. He knows everything. He cannot fail you. He's not the failing type.

And as if Himself was not enough, He saw fit to give you the other friends that you have.

So the next time someone asks you what they're for, now you know.

Thank God for them.

Waterfalls Upsidedown

2008-12-12T11:46:00.003-06:00

We human beings really are creatures of habit, aren't we? Take pants, for example. Now don't get caught up in the mindboggling question of exactly what a pant is and how we can have a pair of them (like underwear...and pair of underwear? I only have one on...and what forms of that word do you use? Pants makes sense. One pant, two pants, a pair of pants. But underwear? One underwear, two underwear, a pair of underwear? Underwears Underweari? Ok, I need to follow my own advice...)

And way, take pants. That's a figure of speach. If you have physically taken a pair of pants at this time, you can put them back. Especially if they don't belong to you. What I meant, you literal, pants-stealing person, was consider pants. I almost always put them on right leg first, then left leg. Always. It's just the way things are. But this morning, I did something very strange: I put them on left leg first! At first, I was scared. I didn't exactly know what was going on, it was all so strange and new. I felt off balance...disjointed. But, eventually I got over it. Everything started to feel alright. After all, putting your pants on left let first really isn't wrong, it's just different. I felt like my horizons had been expanded! Like I had subtley shifted my perception of life. What other strange and wonderful things would happen to me today? If just putting my pants on differently could have this sort of effect, what would happen if I brushed my teeth left-handed, or shaved with my eyes closed?

Later on, with toothpaste and blood all over my face, I reconsidered my decision to change up my morning routine in this way. I have decided to continue putting my pants on right leg first.

Completely Random

2008-11-25T22:49:00.003-06:00

It is a little strange to think that since I learned how, I have never gone a day without walking. Everyday I have had fingers to move, I have moved every one of them. Since I have known how to talk, I have talked everyday. And since the very first moment I was alive, I haven't gone a day without seeing another person. Interesting...so if I spent an entire day alone, lying perfectly still and not saying anything, then I would have at least four firsts on my hands. Five really, since I have never spent a whole day lying down.

Not About the Election...At All

2008-11-04T16:12:00.004-06:00

"On top of spaghetti,
all covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball
When somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table,
And into the floor.
And then my poor meatball,
Just rolled out the door."

It was a very sad and traumatic experience, and I don't think I've quite gotten over it. Not even after my therapist suggested that I write this song about it to, how did he put it..."release my pent up negativity before it grew to dangerous levels and consumed me in a raging torrent of frustration, loss, and self-loathing" or something equally encouraging. My therapist is a bit of a drama queen. I really don't think he's doing much good either, because even after three years of therapy I still can't get over the loss of that meatball. Surely even the crappiest therapist would have helped a little by now, but I still feel the same. It's like it was only yesterday I was sitting at that table, the smell of spaghetti sauce heavy in the air and they put down in front of me a plate of the delicious noodles, covered with Parmesan like white gold. And there, right on top of all that delicious Italian goodness was the most glorious meatball I had ever laid eyes on. My mouth, which had already been watering, now seemed to be trying to outdo Niagara Falls. I was either going to have to eat that meatball now, or find a bucket. But it was not to be! Oh! Even thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes...I feel again the gut-wrenching sorrow and pain of loss as I watched, as if in slow motion, the most horrible tragedy unfold before me. My uncle Mortimer is extremely allergic to cashews. But there weren't any cashews there, so he had no excuse! He sneezed for no reason at all! It was as if all the cruel fates of the universe were conspiring at this one instant to keep me and my meatball from our gastronomical bliss...My uncle Mortimer was seated right across from me, and I could see it coming. A sniffle...a twitch...I could see how his face began to spasm and contort in ways that no human face should. It was like some hell-spawned demon had possessed him for this one act of unspeakable evil. Then the mighty rush of wind! Like a storm from the north it rushed on dark wings right towards my meatball...my poor meatball...My meatball which was borne aloft on that fierce wind and carried to its certain doom. In my weakness, I ducked out of the way as the meatball flew off its perch of spaghetti. Curse this body and its reactions! If only I had been stronger...if only I had stood my ground I could have saved it. But I cowered in the floor, paralyzed by shock and the inhumanity of it all, and all I could do was watch as my meatball bounced along the table, and came crashing to the floor. But even this was not the end! Not content to just have my meatball sullied with the contagions and filth of the ground, whatever evil forces were driving the events that day continued their foul mission, rolling the meatball across the ground and right out the door. Never to be seen again.
I hung my head.
And I wept.

Three long years since that day, and the wound feels as fresh as ever. Even writing this down like my therapist suggested has only made me feel worse. I lost a part of myself that day, and I do not think I will ever be whole again.

And What Have You Done for Me Lately?

2008-10-26T18:30:00.002-05:00

And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin.
Jesus saith unto them, "Loose him, and let him go."
John 11:44

At the risk of overspiritualizing this, think about it with me for a moment. Isn't this what Christ has done for all of us? He brought us from death unto life. But not only did He do that, He didn't leave us wrapped up and bound in our old sins and ways. He freed us from them, and they have no power over us anymore unless we let them.
He loosed us, and let us go.
We are bound no more, so we are free to run to Him.

Right Now

2008-10-03T00:02:00.002-05:00

I tried to watch some of the vice-presidential debates tonight. I kid you not, I had it on for maybe three minutes before I became too disgusted to watch any more. Just two more politicians babbling on about how great they are or how much they hate the current administration. No hard plans, to solutions to problems, just vague and empty promises. Where have all the statesmen gone? What happened to people who really want to serve their country and not themselves? Do you know what the average salary for a congressman is these days? Somewhere in the neighborhood of $169,000 a year. The Speaker for the House makes $217,000 a year. I know elections campaigns are expensive, but those are still some pretty big incentives. And, congress has the power to vote to increase their own salary. Wouldn't you try pretty hard to get a job that came with power, a great salary, and the potential to make as much money as you and your buddies want? Who cares if you make a difference or not? Just keep your head down and you're set for the next few years.
I've heard a lot of people say that it is impossible to be a part of this machine and not be corrupted by it. But where are the men like Daniel? He moved in the very highest circles of Babylonian power, stood in the presence of the king himself and held great influence in that land, but never once did he compromise his principles. He never wavered in his faith and devotion to what he knew to be right. Where are the men like that today? Are we all just afraid to stand up for anything? Afraid of our own strength? Afraid of persecution? Fear, fear, fear. I've had enough of it. It has paralyzed good men for far too long, and while we have sat idle, others have been busy and look at the mess we find ourselves in. But what difference could one man make? That's just the kind of attitude we need to get rid of! Look at Daniel again: one man, but in the right place at the right time changed the course of an empire! We don't know what influence we might have. But I will tell you this: if all we do is sit chained by fear, we will never know.

By the way, our government spends $271 billion a year on welfare.

Please Hold While We Connect You

2008-09-04T16:03:00.003-05:00

A lot of times when someone says, "I'll pray for you." we just kind of shrug that off as something that good little Christians say to one another. But what are we really saying? Think of it this way: What if you were telling someone about a problem you were having, and they said, "Well, here, let me call the president for you, and I'll see what he can do." How would you feel about that? And yet, here we are praying to someone infinitely more wise and powerful than the president, and we think of it as no big deal, or as a last resort. Do we realize what we are doing? Do we see that we are bringing our case before the All-Powerful Ruler of the Universe? We have lost the awe in prayer.
But He told us to pray without ceasing, didn't He? Isn't it natural for something we do that often to lose some of its luster? I don't think it has to be. And that's ignoring the fact that none of us pray nearly as much as we should. We would just be in awe all the time. And why not? Our God is awe inspiring, and He never changes.
So prayer should be a mix of the awful and familiar. On the one hand, yes, we should never lose sight of the fact that when we pray we are approaching the Throne of God Himself. And He is there, listening. Actually listening. Right where you are right now, if you pray to Him, He will hear you. And He wants us to pray to Him, to talk to Him. So much so that He did indeed tell us to pray without ceasing. And He will always listen, and answer. I don't believe there is such a thing as an unanswered prayer. Just sometimes the answer is, "No." or maybe, "Wait." Just because you didn't get what you thought you wanted in the way that you thought you needed it right when you thought you had to have it doesn't mean that God didn't hear you.
But this mighty God, this great Judge, who said He was like a consuming fire, told us to come boldly before this Throne of Grace. That's because He is also the Great Shepard, our Father and Friend.
So talk to Him. He's there waiting on you. And He'll never miss your call.

The Green Tunnel

2008-08-06T12:18:00.002-05:00

I live in Alabama. For all you crazy stalkers out there who read my blog, I just made finding me that much easier. But it still won't be very easy for reasons that will shortly be discussed. The name Alabama, we are told in our third grade Alabama History class, comes from some old Indian (or Native American, or whatever you want to call it) words. These are not always the same words, though, and they mean different things, things like "land of many rivers" or "thicket clearers" or, my personal favorite, "a thick mass of vegetation." This last definition is the one I will be going with, because I think it most accurately describes our state.
This morning, my sister's car was overheating. Yes, this is relevant, trust me. So she took my car to work, and I did what I could to fix her car. I then took it out for a road test. I think that's what they call it at garage's when they charge you for it. For interested parties, the car now works fine. Yay for checking fluids!
Allow me to digress a moment. We'll get back to the road test and thick masses of vegetation in a moment. When it comes to the relationship between car and driver, girls behave more like guys do in a relationship between man and woman. Namely, they do not like to communicate. Or rather, they do not communicate as often as they should. You have to get to know your car, and check up on it to see how it's doing. Just little things like checking the oil and coolant levels, or the tire pressure. These little acts of kindness can save you a lot of trouble down the road. But the attitude that most girls have towards their vehicle was expressed succinctly by a female friend of mine: "As long as it works, I don't care how or why." Imagine if this sort of attitude was carried over into human relationships? Without taking care of the little things to ensure that relationships continue to run smoothly, you're potentially setting yourself up for a major blowout down the road. Ok, I'm done. Back to the story.
So I was out on the road test. I took the car back to this great, winding back road that I know of that's very near our house. If I ever had a motorcycle, I would ride it back there all the time. Heck, I might buy a motorcycle just so I can ride it back there. But there was so much GREEN. Life grows fiercely in Alabama. Every inch of ground that's not yard or pavement has something growing and thriving in it. If you have ever done much tramping in the woods round about, then you know how often you come to a place where you simply cannot go any further forward because of how thick the plants are growing. I mean seriously, you leave a field unattended for a few weeks and you will come back to find a jungle! As I was driving along those back roads, I really did feel like I was driving through a green tunnel, what with the trees all growing so tall and wide and hanging over on each side of the road. I have often thought of Alabama as one big, thick mass of vegetation, with a few hollowed out spaces for people to live. This is fortunate, because when The Collapse comes, we can all run out into the woods and no one will be able to find us. Including you, creepy stalker.

To Lay the Burden Down

2008-08-02T23:04:00.002-05:00

He watched the ships as the wind took them. The dock creaked under his feet as the water pushed the ships further and further from shore, far into the open sea, to be lost from sight until eyes on some foreign shore should see them. It was a lonely sight to watch a ship vanish to nothing.
"Will you also go away?"
He had not heard her come, but there she stood with her arms wrapped around her against the chill wind that blew from the sea. She was not looking at him, but instead was gazing out at the fast shrinking ships as he had been. And she was shivering. Idly he thought that he would have liked to provide her a cloak. Had he owned one. But as it stood now he had but the clothes on his back, the shoes on his feet, one sword, and nothing to offer the shivering woman beside him. Nothing to offer. Nothing. His eyes went back to the ships.
"I think I will." One galley remained at the docks, and as he spoke those words, he decided: he
would be on it when it too vanished from sight of these shores. And then he would meet those foreign eyes with sword in hand.
"Why? Can you tell me why you are going? Do you even know yourself?" She wasn't looking at the ships anymore. He didn't look, but he knew. He could feel her staring at his face, eyes rapidly searching for a hint of an answer before he gave one. You learned to watch the eyes in his line of work.
They give away so much. He knew why he was going, and he would tell her, but she wouldn't like it. No one ever did.
"The men in those ships are going to war, and I belong with them. Peace has come to this land, so it is high time that I left it. Peace leaves no room for a man like me. I must go where I can be most useful."
"There's more to life than war, you know." He was right. She didn't like it. She didn't understand. He didn't know why he had expected anything different.
"And I suppose you would tell a master sculptor that there is more to life than marble and
granite?"
"I would expect a master sculptor to know better."
"Not if he was truly devoted to his craft. To truly be a master of anything, you must pursue it
above all else."
"But why must you leave this time, to this war? Everyone knows you're already a master of
your...craft, or whatever it is you call it."
"Any sculptor who did not pick up his tools from time to time would hardly a sculptor, would
he?"

Guacomo! To the Ships!

2008-07-04T11:01:00.003-05:00

How much snot is it possible for one human nose to contain?

"Eww, gross! Graham, are you seriously going to write a post about snot??"

Yes, yes I am.
I mean seriously, doesn't it ever strike you as odd that when you have a cold or something you just blow and blow and blow and blow and it still comes out! Yes, I know all about your happy little mucous glands that are constantly pumping out a steady supply of snot, but when those little suckers hop into overdrive, it nearly defies the imagination at the amount they can produce in so short a time. There seems to be no end to it. It's like you have the Eternal Fountain of Snot hidden away somewhere in your nasal cavity. You might even halfway expect some Spanish explorer to come looking for it.

"Senor Vierra, why have we come to this strange and frightening place? My clothes are all ruined now."

"Don't you know, Guacomo? We have come seeking the Eternal Fountain of Snot, to claim it in the name of the glorious Kingdom of Spain! Our names will stickily live on through all the ages!"

It is rather disconcerting to see the number of tissues that begin to pile up. Will your supply of snot outlast the supply of tissues? Of boxes of tissue? Of the very trees that are cut down and ground up in cruel and unusual ways just so that they can be made into tissues so you can have some other place besides your nose to put your snot???
Here's what I say: We need to stop looking into wind power, or nuclear power, or whatever, and start developing some kind of snot power. There's plenty of it to go around. And Al Gore sure would be happy. That's a green energy source if I ever saw one.

("Oh, Graham, that was a terrible joke..."
"I know, I know, I'm sorry, but I had to say it."
"No, you really didn't. I think everyone could have lived perfectly happy, productive, and pH balanced lives without reading that."
"Well, sorry. Who died and made you Joke Police?"
"Nobody has to die for you to be inducted into the Joke Police. You just fill out an application. Don't be so morbid...")

Sunlight and Thunder

2008-06-13T22:13:00.002-05:00

What kind of God do we serve?
One who knows we will never be able to fully understand Him, but gave us a whole book about Himself because He wants us to try.
He is a God who loved us for no other reason than that He wanted to.
He is a perfect God, who loves with a perfect and boundless love. A love that is at once the simplest joy, and darkest mystery. Simple because it is pure. It is only love. He loves us because it pleases Him. He needs no other reason. We need no other reason. There could be no other reason. A mystery because we will never know why. We will never know why it pleases God to love the vilest thing in the universe.
But He does love us. He loves us and He wants us with Him. Not for an hour, or for a day, but for eternity. He loves us so much that He wasn't going to leave that in our hands. He knows us; knows us better than we will ever know ourselves. He knows what kind of a mess we would have made of things if He had left it up to us. No, He loved us so much that He came Himself. It was as though He said with His voice like many waters, "I will do this, and then it will be sure. I will do this, for there is none else. I will pay the price, because I love them."
So He came. And He died. The blood of God was shed for love. Perfect blood for perfect love. For you. For me.
He is a God who loved us enough that He even blesses us beyond eternity. As if the promise of being with Him forever was not enough, He sees fit to give us all things while we live here on this earth.
He is a God who does not bless us with just enough. He is too big for that. He will give and He will give, because there is no end of Him. He is always enough and infinitely more. How great is His love! How much He gives to us! And gives and gives. Why? Because He loves us. He seems determined to outlove everyone, to show that "I am God, and there is none like me." To show that no one can love like Him.
He is a God who sends cool breezes on a hot summer's day. Who paints a sunset every night for you, and a sunrise every morning. He made the sound of wind in the trees, and gave you the ears to hear it. He makes a girl's eyes sparkle like that when she laughs. He made the feel of cool grass on bare feet. He gave you friends to show you a pale echo of His love.
He is a God who loves us so much, that He is coming back to get us.
Coming Himself. Coming for all His children, who He loved so much He wrote their names in the very palms of His hands. And then those hands were pierced, and His blood covered those names. And then we were free.
What does He ask for all of this? It is simple. As simple and as daunting as the mountains and the sea.
He wants us to love Him back.

Happy...Something

2008-06-04T20:19:00.005-05:00

So the post right below this one was the 5oth. That only took, what, three years? A nice average of something like 16.67 posts a year. About 1.38 posts per month. Although, as you can see (if you've bothered to look) the posting pattern has not been nearly that regular. It started off with a bang and then it came in sparks and fizzles. Then I became bored with the whole thing and gave it up; consigned it to a cold, lonely corner of the internet, alone, with only the flitting company of the occasional internet drifter, who only paused long enough to see that yes, the blog was still dead. Rather like those who passed by the ruins of Jerusalem all those years ago.
And then, suddenly, new life! But the landscape has changed. The neighbors moved away and someone built a nice coffee shoppe (see how much more sophisticated it looks when you spell it that way?) where their house used to be. Blogging is no longer the craze it once was. Gone are the days when one could expect ten or fifteen comments on a post. Now you are lucky to get two or three.
But perhaps this is not so bad. Yes, the blogging community is smaller now, but it seems to be closer knit group, a group that shares more than amusing anecdotes, but their thoughts about the universe and all of the interesting things happen in it. I am more pleased with those two or three comments, because the authors of those comments have said more than all fifteen of the other ones combined.
And have my posts changed to reflect this new enviroment? They have. I was reading my old posts (because I am that vain) and I was struck with how funny I used to be. Call me Pride, but seriously, I was pretty impressed with myself. I wondered why I couldn't write things like that anymore. Why wasn't I funny?
I guess the reason I don't write funny posts anymore is because of that change in enviroment. I'm not writing to please the masses any more. There aren't any masses to please, for one thing, but also, I really don't care if I get fifteen comments telling me how hilarious I am. I write more serious posts now because I want them to mean something. Yes, my old posts may tell you what to do when you are falling out of a plane and are on fire, but that's all there is to it. You will laugh and then promptly forget. You haven't had any thoughts provoked, you aren't encouraged to see things any differently. I think maybe that is why I don't write funny things any more. I want to do more than just make people laugh. I want to make them think.
Maybe, someday, I will find a way to be both funny and thought provoking. It is possible. I've seen it done.

The Things We Want, and Know We Cannot Have

2008-05-21T00:16:00.003-05:00

It is easy to sit in judgment of you, knight; you whose love nearly brought down a kingdom. You loved each other, but it could not be. She was not yours. She was your king's. It is easy to sit and say that you should deny yourself, deny her, and carry on. But who has borne your burden? Who has faced that foe and lived? Love is strong as death, but does not death conquer all men? So does love conquer all men? Does it defeat your honor, your duty, your wisdom? It seemed it had defeated yours. But you did struggle, knight. You did battle. You fought to the last when you could fight no more. But is it a wonder you were defeated when you fought an enemy with the strength of death itself?

Just

2008-05-11T22:58:00.002-05:00

So that everyone knows (all four of you who read my blog) the Sanctimonia story was written as a composition assignment in which we were to show that vice, when presented as virtue, can be attractive to good men, especially the ambitious ones. In its present form, the story has achieved this goal, in my opinion at least. Feel free to share your thoughts. I didn't really plan out what would happen afterwards, so I don't know whether I will lengthen it or not. It is, for its purpose, finished. But, who knows what the future may hold?
I know you were all just so anxious about that...

Oh, and here you go:

Something Funny.

Think About It...No, Really

2008-05-01T23:34:00.002-05:00

One of the things that characterized the so-called Dark Ages was what seemed to be a blind faith in a corrupt church. The people of that time were perfectly willing to believe whatever the pope told them. They were content with not bothering to form their own opinions about matters and not putting forth the effort required to find out the truth. This is why one of the hallmarks of the Renaissance was a resurgence of free thinking: a throwing off of the shackles of a corrupt and oppressive church and thinking for oneself.
It seems that today we need a new Renaissance. Modern man has replaced the church of the Dark Age with the mass media of the Information Age. The unthinking masses blindly accept whatever the media chooses to feed them, not bothering to check the facts or peruse other sources, or even considering that the report is touched by bias. We need a new Renaissance. We need to break the chains of a corrupt and oppressive media and start taking a new interest in the world around us, and stop leting others do our thinking for us.
Forfeiting our right to think and form our own opinions only limits us. What was the consequence of the Dark Age mentality? Overspecialization. If you were a carpenter, you were a carpenter, as your father and probably his father before. If you were a soldier, that is all you were. you didn't bother yourself with the unwarlike things such as books or art. In the Renaissance, however, the idea of the "universal man" came with that era's freedom of thought. A man could, and was encouraged to develop as many skills and talents as he could. Witness Leonardo da Vinci: a great artist, yes, but also a brilliant scientist and inventor.
And what do we find today? The same overspecialization. And not just in a career sense. There are also the many social specialties we are burdened with. If you are a jock, you're a jock, and can hardly be expected to be very intelligent. You hang out with jocks, dress the way they should, and everyone is shocked when someone comes along who defies this social norm. If you are a "drama geek" you dress the part, you act the part, you associate with your fellow actors and listen to the kind of music and like the kind of movies everyone expects you to. Where does the stage end?
Freeing ourselves to think will be freeing ourselves to act and live as we believe we should, not how we think everyone expects us to because of what social caste we occupy. Free your mind.

Sanctimonia - Part II

2008-04-21T11:57:00.001-05:00

Marcus shook free of his grasp. “Amulius! What is this about? What have you heard?”

Amulius quickly surveyed the deserted alleyway. “I think I may have an explanation for our friend Lucius’ behavior this morning.” The tone of Amulius’ voice told Marcus that this explanation could not be pleasant.

“Tell me.”

“After the mob was cleared, I lingered a while near the forum, still wondering over what had happened, hoping to find some clue as to why. It appears the gods heard me, Marcus, for I had not been there long before I saw Servetius, one of Lucius’ senators, hurrying towards a man who was skulking in the shadow of an alley like this one. I followed him stealthily, and blessed Mercury must have lent silence to my feet for I was not detected. When I was closer, I recognized the other man. And who do you think it was? It was one of those ruffians that charged out of the crowd and started the whole riot! And what do you Servetius was doing? He was paying him! Paying him!”

“That a Roman consul should resort to such bloody tricks to silence his rivals!” Marcus fumed. “Inciting a mob to strike them down! It is the height of dishonor, and I will make sure this is known by the entire city!”

“But Marcus, it is more than that. Servetius then said the man, ‘And you will get rest when the job is finished, for come tomorrow the great Lucius will be lord of this city, and in a more fit position to reward those who served him best.’ Then the man bowed and left, and so did I! I have come to find you, all the time fearing I was seen listening to Servetius. Marcus don’t you see what this means? Lucius will march on Rome!”

Marcus caught his breath as the full impact of Amulius’ words hit him. It could not be so. “March on Rome?” he asked in stunned disbelief. “No, Amulius. Surely the Senate will-“

“The Senate is his!” cried Amulius. “Steadily bought and paid for these past months. His last real opposition was removed today!”

“But the people-“

“Will be crushed by Lucius’ army. What chance do they have? His legions are encamped just outside the city, Marcus. He will march them through the gates tomorrow and then all hope will be lost. Rome will be conquered by her own son.” Amulius was silent and turned away, as though his own words had defeated any hope within him.

Marcus was silent as well, but his mind was a whirl of thought. Rome could not be conquered! No, Rome was the greatest of nations, the shining light to the rest of the world! If the Roman republic should die and in its place a dictator be raised, what champion would freedom have? No, Marcus would not allow the death of liberty while strength remained in his limbs to prevent it.

“Something must be done, Amulius.”

Amulius turned to him, a lost look on his face. “But what, Marcus? What can be done? We have no Senate, we have no legions, we do not even have our own guards! The balance seems stacked against us my friend, and the only way we could-“ Amulius stopped short, looking through Marcus as a thought was born in his mind.

“What, Amulius? Do you have an idea? Speak, man!”

Amulius looked at Marcus’ face, and then said very slowly, “If the legions have no leader, there will be none to lead the legions.”

Marcus blinked, not comprehending. “Amulius, this is no time for childish riddles! Do you have a plan or don’t you?”

Amulius’ voice was hard now. “Marcus, it will be very difficult for Lucius to march on Rome if he is dead.”

Silence fell between the two as that last word hung in the air. “Dead.” Murder! Marcus recoiled from the very thought. That Rome should be saved in such a fashion! “Amulius! Hear what you are saying! This would make us no better than Lucius himself! No better than common thugs and hired knives. No, there must be some other way.”

“No, Marcus, there is not.”

“I will not kill a Roman consul in cold blood, Amulius, and I won’t let you do it either.”

“But think, Marcus!” Amulius grabbed Marcus by the shoulders, his fingers digging into his skin. “Think how many will die if Lucius does not! Think of your wife, your children! Think of Rome! Will you let Rome die?”

Marcus shivered at hearing his own thoughts thrown back at him. It did not make him think any kindlier of the idea, and yet…and yet were there not things precious enough to protect by any means? Things in whose defense even murder would be justified?

“But the people will hate us as murderers.”

“No! They will hail us as saviors!”

Marcus Maxentius, Savior of Rome. It did have a nice sound. It was an honorable title, to be sure, one that would last down through the ages, and perhaps inspire other men to serve their country with honor. But was it worth it? Was saving a thousand lives worth ending one? Was saving freedom worth the spilling of blood? Will you let Rome die?

"Amulius, do you own a sword?"

Sanctimonia - Part I

2008-04-17T22:28:00.001-05:00

It had been a busy day in the forum; busier than usual. While it was not uncommon for the senators there to hurl insults at each other and for the mob watching the proceedings to be somewhat roused, today there had been physical violence done. Marcus Maxentius, Roman senator, went over the scene again as he slowly made his way home from the forum.
The consul Lucius, newly returned from wars in Cilicia, had been speaking passionately as usual, making a ploy to increase his own power by suggesting, quite insistently, that three senators be expelled from the senate. These three had long been considered the strongest opposition to Lucius, and as the consul spoke, painting a vivid picture of his foes as little less than the ultimate debasement of human kind, his bought senators showed their approval, the people became caught up in his words. The atmosphere was so charged that when the three rose to defend themselves, a group of men rushed forward from the mob and proceeded to mercilessly beat them, the rest of the people soon following. It was several agonizing seconds before the senators could be pulled, bloodied and shaken, from the murderous crowd. And all this time Lucius had done nothing. He had simply stood and watched, and smiled. The senators were expelled.
Marcus had been shocked and confused. He had intended to speak in defense of the expelled senators, but what could one man do in the face of such a wild mass of humanity? And why would Lucius do such a thing? What was he trying to accomplish? Marcus knew the man bore no love for his political opponents, but to allow them to be beaten, even killed seemed vicious even for Lucius.
As Marcus was passing the baths, pondering these questions he heard a familiar voice calling his name. Turning, he saw his friend Amulius, a fellow senator, hurrying toward him with an urgent and worried expression on his face. When Amulius reached him, he grabbed his arm and whispered fiercly, “Marcus, grave news. But not here. Come.” And with that he was off down the street, Marcus barely able to keep up. Amulius walked as though he suspected he was being followed: glancing to the left and right, over his shoulder. Finally, he swerved into an alley and pulled Marcus in after him.

Remember

2008-04-06T23:27:00.002-05:00

What a gift is life.

Decisions

2008-04-04T17:06:00.003-05:00

The little boy stared forlornly at the litter of puppies rolling and playing behind the fence. One of them, with brown fur and a white tipped nose, bounded awkwardly up to the fence on too-large feet and stared back at the boy. The boy's frown slowly edged into a smile, and he reached down a hand to pet the dog. His tail wagging, the brown puppy permitted himself to be stroked a few times before running off to follow some new and exciting smell. The eyes of the boy followed the dog as he went, but then were attracted to another puppy, a solid black one, who came walking up and was duly petted until he too went about his puppyish business.
"Well, son," said the boy's father as he came walking up. "Have you decided which one you want?"
"Not yet, Dad. I'm still looking."
"Still looking? Son, we've been here for more than an hour. You've had plenty of time, so surely you know which one you want by now."
The boy turned to his father, his eyes full of tortured indecision.
"I don't know, Dad! I don't know! Do I have to pick just one?"
"Only one. But think," the father's comforting hand engulfed his young son's shoulder, "that one puppy will be just your own. Your one puppy to love and raise and train all yourself. Think how much fun you'll have! Why, if you had two, you could only have half as much fun with each of them. Better to have one real good dog."
Turning back to the fence, the boy grasped it in a death grip and swept his eyes over the furry, slobbery spectacle it contained. "But," the boy's voice was low and sad. "But if I pick just one, that means we have to leave all the other ones out here, right? And all the puppies are so nice, Dad. I think they would all be good pets."
"Well son, just pick your favorite."
"But Dad...I like them all."

Why Unicorns?

2008-03-12T22:24:00.002-05:00

A good question. I don't know why I decided to write this about unicorns. This was written back when I thought I wanted to be a writer, and I was writing down all sorts of strange things. I think I just used all of the forms of the verb "write." Oh, wait, I missed one. So here's what I wrote.

Unicorns are, at their essence, quite grumpy creatures. You didn't know? Oh, I see. You've been put under the assumption that unicorns are grand, mysterious animals of a noble quality. Which they are, I suppose. A more apt description of a unicorn's character would be as follows: aloof, touchy, easily angered and offended, and just plain grumpy. And why not? If you had crowds of people constantly barging in on you at breakfast, lunch, or any other conceivable meal to "ooh" and "ahh" and point and stare or, much worse, try to saw your one and only horn off (it has healing properties, you know) wouldn't you be a bit on edge? Wouldn't you go to length to avoid those staring, unbearably intrusive crowds of people? Wouldn't you feel the least bit upset if, despite your best efforts, one of these crowds did manage to find you?
So we see that that the tales of the unicorn's majestic, enigmatic nature all derive from the beast's desire to avoid human contact. Or any type of contact for that matter. They just want to be left alone. I don't think that this was always the case, however. I have heard that there was a time when unicorns were positively gregarious. This, or course, was before humans came into the picture, and there really wasn't anyone else for unicorns to be gregarious to except other unicorns. I mean, there was the occasional satyr, centaur, or dragon (and these last were very occasional indeed) but back in those times most creatures kept themselves to themselves.
Gorfund was one such creature, a unicorn as I'm sure it doesn't surprise you to learn. Gorfund was as normal and average a young unicorn as you could possibly imagine. He had a glossy, white coat, glossy black eyes, and fine matching glossy gold hooves...

Of this tale, Dodger wrote no more.

A River With No Bridge

2008-03-08T21:14:00.004-06:00

Those who reach for the stars most often receive naught but burned fingers for their trouble. And these are the lucky ones. Let us never forget the fact that stars are very, very far away, so it is a rare few indeed whose reach extends to the point of singed appendages. In light of this, is it even worth it to try? What would you want with a star anyways? What would you do if you reached one? Would you engage the star in polite conversation, or invite it to dinner or something? No. You would be too busy melting into your constituent elements. For let us never forget the fact that stars are very, very hot.
You really do not have much to offer a star. I doubt one would find you very entertaining. This is, of course, assuming that the star even notices that you are there. It is a fact that we should never forget that stars are very, very big. You are very small (regardless of how big you might consider yourself compared to other humans, you could take comfort in the thought that on the stellar scale, none of us nudge the needle past zero).
But whatever would you talk with the star about? "So, what color is your corona? Oh...you don't have a corona. Well, does your magnetic field ever feel like it's just not performing like it should? You don't have one of those either? ....So I guess there's no point asking how much gravitational force you exert, is there?" Not a very interesting conversation on the star's part. Your situations in life are too different.
Stars need other stars to give them what they need. You know, to hang out with and orbit and form constellations and explode in fantastic displays of fiery nuclear death. Star stuff. You can't give any of that to a star. Why reach? Burn your fingers on something nearer home.

Oh Really?

2008-03-06T17:59:00.002-06:00

A word once spoken to the wind,
It is gone.
Do not strive to take it back.
Do not reach for it.
It has gone; it is fluid now,
And it will run through your hands like water.
The echoes, the ripples it leaves behind will sing through your mind,
But the word is gone.
Can you take a drop from the sea?
Can you sift a breath from the wind?
Can you bring back a word once spoken?

For Wilson

2008-02-17T21:47:00.003-06:00

I just watched the movie Castaway. Call me crazy (and plenty of people have) but every time I see that movie or read Robinson Crusoe or something like that, I find myself wishing that I could be stranded on a desert island. Not to "get away from it all", but to survive. There's a part of me that wants to get out there, to test myself against the elements, to run around in a loin cloth and kill fish with a spear. Note that I said "test myself." I just noted it. Maybe it's some king of masculine ego thing that makes me feel the need to prove myself in the wild. I mean, I know the measure of a man is not how many things he can make out of a stalk of bamboo, but still, that feeling is there. I can't help but wonder if I would have what it takes to survive in that kind of situation, or would I be soft from pumping too many hours (and hours...and hours...let's be honest here) into this computer or into some other facet of my sedentary lifestyle? I mean seriously, how much time do I spend sitting down? It kind of makes me sick to think about it.
So if I all of a sudden go running off into the woods one day, you'll know what happened.

No One Left Behind

2008-02-08T22:35:00.000-06:00

"And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day."

John 6:39

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all, and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. I and my Father are one."

John 10:27-30

The Rock Beneath the Sea

2007-07-11T17:26:00.000-05:00

Is love deeper than a feeling? It is, I think. For, at its essence, love is not really a feeling at all, but a choice. Certain other feelings arise out of love: affection, devotion, desire, but these are not love; these are emotions, and they are as changing and inconstant as a sea: raging in a violent storm on one day, barely the whisper of a breeze the next.
But love, true love is not a sea or a storm. Love is the rock, the earth above which these transient weathers fly. Steady, immovable, it endures the ebb and flow of the passions. Love is the choice, the declaration saying, "I will honor and care for you in spite of all my changing feelings, not because of them."

The Wheels on the Bus

2007-02-23T16:40:00.000-06:00

Let's talk about trust in human relationships.
Observe:
When you find out that someone likes/has a thing for/is infatuated with/whateveryouwanttocallit you, you can no longer trust that person. "But wait, isn't that sort of backwards?" you may ask "Wouldn't you know you would be able to trust him/her because they have feelings for you and would never want to betray you?" You would think so. But that's not what happens. You can no longer tell this person anything. Why? Because they are paying attention. When next you unburden yourself to them, everything you say will be weighed, meticulously examined, and, worst of all, remembered. You see, normally when you speak to a friend about an emotionally confusing issue, they will kindly listen to what you have to say (because they're nice people), nod in all the right places, and then promptly forget the whole thing. That's the way these things are supposed to work. It preserves the Circle of Trust. Since the issue was forgotten, it cannot be spread abroad. But, if the person you are using as a sounding board happens to like you (that way) then they will constantly be evaluating your comments, thinking "Ok, how does this apply to me? Is he talking about me there? How can I use this?" Do you see what happened? All of a sudden your problem is not about you anymore. It's about them. And, since it's their problem, the next time they feel the need to talk, they will have no reservations whatsover in divulging what you told them in confidence. It's not that they do it maliciously, it's just that they no longer perceive it as being your secret.
So, the best thing to do when you learn that a person to whom you have been pouring out your soul is enjoying that soul-pouring a bit too much, is to break contact. I don't mean totally exclude them, just don't let them be your secret keeper anymore. Then, go find someone who you have absolutely zero chances with, or better yet, someone already in a relationship, and use them as your go-to person. However, be careful in this step. If you are particularly good-looking, or charming, or a combination of the two, then when you open up and show your vulnerable side, you may end up creating "feelings" in the person you are sharing your innermost self with.
And then you're back to the same problem you started out with.

(Note: The above post was written tongue-in-cheek, and the reader is discouraged from making in life/relationship altering decisions based upon it.)

Libria anyone?

2007-02-02T17:32:00.000-06:00

An Excerpt From
Suffer the Aged to Come
by Jeff Carrol

Peace is an illusion. It is a mad dream propagated by those who refuse to awaken to the reality that so long as man exists, so will war. The brief peaces that give these dreamers their false hope are just that: brief peaces; short intervals between bloodshed; a moment to catch one's breath before plunging back into the fray. Are the ones who advocate a world at peace blind? Can they not see that our world, the real world, is a world of conflict? Are they deaf to the sounds of war that rage unchecked day after day? A fool's dream, this world peace. Oh, a noble aspiration, to be sure, but unattainable. Why? The chief problem is man. We are creatures of emotion; driven by them. It is not cold reason or logic that we answer to, but the volatile heart of man. Anger, ambition, fear, these are the spurs that drive us to conflict; these are the sparks that light war's flame. These emotions are ingrained in every human being. They are universal; inescapable. The day you can stop our emotions is the day you can stop war.

This Is

2007-01-27T20:53:00.000-06:00

For those nursing long-distance relationships, something to ponder:

Distance does not allow imperfections.

Italy Pics Part II (yes, there is actually a part II)

2006-11-30T16:31:00.000-06:00

Sorry this took so long, but no one mentioned how darned bothersome it is to upload a bunch of pictures onto Blogger. Since posting the last batch, I've been just putting it off and putting it off...but, here it is now. These pictures are from Sorrento, Pompeii, and then there are a fmore of Rome. Enjoy.

That's Sorrento. Quite possibly the most beautiful place I've ever been.

Here's how we got down to the water.

And this is what we saw.

Pompeii.

I believe the literal translation was "Maximus was here."

This is how well preserved this place is.

Pompeii's killer: Vesuvius.

Back in Rome now. The Pantheon.

I really like the light in this picture.

The Trevi fountain.

All Right, Already...(Italy Pics, Part I)

2006-10-22T18:23:00.000-05:00

"Post now or you'll never do it", eh? HA! I laugh at you. Here are the pictures from Italy. This isn't all of them, but it should give you a pretty good idea of my trip. Enjoy.

First up we have pictures from Rome.
This was our room. It was one of the larger ones in the hotel.

And a few shots from the city.

Outside the Colosseum.

Inside the Colosseum.

The Arch of Constantine.

Look at the detail on this thing...

On to the Vatican.

Here we have St. Peter's Bascilica.

Some sculpture that everyone kept talking about...

A lot of steps...

..to the top of the Bascilica...

...but well worth it.

2006-10-11T21:35:00.000-05:00

While cleaning the kitchen this evening...

Whitney: "I must have some disease that makes me go to the bathroom after I eat..."

Me: "Yeah, it's called digestion."

There and Back Again

2006-10-10T20:42:00.000-05:00

To a certain someone, this post will seem very familiar. Since I am lazy, I took an email that I wrote and modified to form my Italy post. Pictures will follow in the next few days, I promise.

I consider myself extremely blessed to have had the chance to go to Italy. It was an amazing trip. I saw all the big stuff. And I mean big. Colosseum, Arch of Constantine, Pantheon, Trevi Fountain, Vatican, Pompeii. It was fantastic. I took about 250 pictures while I was there, and the highlights will be blogged...sometime.
Let's see, we flew into Rome on Sunday, where we stayed for two days. The first day, the weather was absolutely perfect. So we set out almost immediately (we took a short nap to help with the jet lag) to explore the city of Rome. That place is beautiful. I was taking pictures like crazy until my uncle slowed me down. Seriously, you could point your camera in any direction, at any spot in that city and come away with a great picture. I just liked walking around there. Good thing too, because that's how we got everywhere.
We went to the Colosseum first, and lucked out because Sunday was European Heritage Day, and admission was free (11 euros saved right off the bat!) Then we ate supper at some sidewalk restaurant. The food in Italy is delicious. All of it. The whole time we were there I had no bad food.
The next day it rained, but that wasn't so bad since we slept until nearly one in the afternoon (jet lag again...). That day we went to the Vatican. I can't really describe it adequately in words, but when you see the pictures, just know that they don't give real sense of the enormity of the Basilica.
Then, we took a train south to Sorrento, one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. The city is built right on the cliffs of the Mediterranean. Again, words cannot do it justice, but I have many pictures. On the second day in Sorrento, we took a short train ride to Pompeii. We spent three hours there, and didn't see even half of it. I knew it was a city, but that didn't really sink in until I got there. It's a city. The whole thing. It was like stepping back in time nearly 2,000 years. Sometimes, when I walked the quieter parts of the city (there were thousands of people there) I could almost hear the noise of everyday life as it was in 76 A.D, could almost see the villagers. I wonder who walked down the same road I did, whose house I was walking through. It was a really amazing place.
We then went back to Rome for another day before we flew home. We saw the things we didn't on our first days. One of those sights was the Capuchin Crypt. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. A series of tombs decorated with the bones of Capuchin monks. By decorated I mean, there were vertebra arranged in decorative fashions on the ceiling, ribs made intricate patterns on walls, even the lanterns were made completely of bones. Human bones. Weird stuff. Do a Google Image search for it. After that was the loooong flight home. We got in about 11:00 pm on Friday. Having about eighteen hours of sunlight is weird...
And did I mention how much I love flying? Man, I had about as much fun going to and coming from Italy as I did when I was actually there. When you break through the cloud layer, and the sun is shining everywhere, it's beautiful. The cloudscape is the most breathtakingly brilliant thing I saw on the whole trip. My face was glued to the window of the plane. Once again, God shows that He can out do man's best efforts with just some water and dirt.

I'm Baaaack....

2006-09-30T18:29:00.000-05:00

The Dodger has landed. I got home last night (after nearly 24 hours without sleep...those time zone changes kill ya) and I thouroghly enjoyed my trip. Italy met and maybe even exceeded all of my expectations. And you know, I feel more strongly now that even with all of our quirks, problems, and bad habits, America is still the greatest country on Earth. It's good to be home.
Trip pictures are forthcoming.

Into the Blue

2006-09-21T21:04:00.000-05:00

As most of you probably know, I will be leaving for Italy on Saturday. This will be my greatest adventure yet. My uncle and I will be flying out of Atlanta in the afternoon, we'll layover in Paris, and then come into Rome. Six days I shall be abroad. Three in ancient Roma, two in beautiful Sorrento, and then back to Rome for the final day. Mine eyes shall behold sights viewed by emperor's, my feet walk paths tred for thousands of years. It doesn't even seem real. I would deeply appreciate it if you would all keep my uncle and me in your prayers. Pray that we will have a safe journey, free from complications and full of fun. And also pray that the Pope doesn't tick off any more Muslims while I'm over there. I'll try to take plenty of pictures to share, and maybe I'll brave the horrendous long-distance charges and post a brief audioblog...but on second thought, maybe not.

Brisk and Bubbly

2006-09-07T20:51:00.000-05:00

A little something I did for composition today. Don't you wish you went to my school?

A Brief Observation
on the
Lives and Social Habits
of
Trolls

Upon first reading this title, you may have asked yourself, "What more is there to know about trolls? They live in caves, they eat rocks, and they smash
things. That's about it, right?" While those are legitimate facts of troll life, they are too superficial. They fail to show the true depth and complexity of troll culture. To truly understand trolls, the questions one must ask are: What do trolls like so much about caves? How are they able to eat rocks? Why do they smash things?
These are the questions that I will attempt to answer in this composition, and I hope that by doing so, I will have given you a greater appreciation for all things trollish.
First of all, we will examine the common troll's habitation: the cave. It is a well established fact that most troll caves are merely round repositories for rotting refuse and repulsive rubbish. But there is more to it than that. Trolls live in caves for several reasons. For example, trolls are big and so are caves, so it is a natural match. Also, caves are very easy to take care of, which trolls find attractive as they are not too fond of home maintainence. Trolls usually attempt to settle in a cave that is situated on a cliff or moutainside; the reason being that the elevation provides ample oppurtunities to throw large, heavy objects onto smaller, more fragile objects below.
Another feature that attracts trolls to caves is the abundance of rocks, which trolls eat. You see, trolls love to eat. It is one of their favorite activities. When a troll first moves into an area, he will immediately set out to consume anything edible in that region. This usually does not take very long, and accounts for the barreness of the land around most troll caves. Soon there is nothing left for the troll to eat except rocks. Rocks are difficult to chew, even for trolls, and it takes quite a while for a troll to eat any significant number of them. To date, no known troll has ever eaten the entire available number of rocks in his cave; either dying or moving on to more flavorfully diverse lands before the supply is exhausted.
If there is one thing that trolls like more than eating, it is smashing things. Why? Trolls just find this fun. Every troll has a large stick that he carries with him everywhere he goes. This is referred to by experts as a "troll stick". Trolls are immensely attached to their wooden clubs and will go to great lengths to keep the same one.
After a marathon of smashing, a troll can be observed to sit in his cave for long periods of time, painstakingly picking the smallest fragments of smashed objects out of his troll stick. The only known regular social gathering of trolls is for something they refer to as "Big Smash". This is an event in which large numbers of trolls will gather and proceed to smash anything and everything they can get their sticks on. It is truly an inspiring spectacle to witness (from a safe distance, of course).
I hope that after reading this essay you have a new respect for trolls and their ways. I hope that you recognize them for the interesting creatures they are, and will not simply dismiss them as nasty, brutish, and stupid, although these are qualities that they certainly posess.

A.D. Mundle

Professor of Trollology at The University

In Which I Wax...Something...

2006-07-16T15:46:00.000-05:00

I know this is how most of my posts start, but the other day I was thinking. I was wondering how we got our measure of time. I mean, who decided that the length of a second was a second? I was thinking about waaaay back, when they were trying to figure out how to measure this whole day thing, what constant rhythm did they have to go by? So I was sitting there thinking (caution: it gets a little semi romantic here)when I noticed my heart. Thump, thump, thump...about a second apart... And it hit me: Time is measured in heartbeats.

2006-06-25T21:20:00.000-05:00

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause.
You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them.

Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Cripes

2006-06-24T20:51:00.000-05:00

I have just been struck by the absurdity of hair. How strange is it to have this huge mass of...stuff on top of your head? Think about it. It's just funny.

Surprised?

2006-05-17T21:04:00.000-05:00

Sweet. I just about broke the two month mark with my posting interval. As you probably noticed, I haven't had too much free time (clever, eh?) lately. To be more precise, I haven't had too much free time to post on my blog. I chose to do other things instead. They were important, trust me. But, to relieve you of your Graham Deprivation I have prepared the following post. I thought we'd do something light, just to get back into the swing of things:

Thoughts on the Driving Force Behind Human Progress

Now, I have actually given this some thought, and I have come to the conclusion that, however paradoxical it may seem, the driving force that motivates humans to improve their level of technology and such is laziness. Think about it. The vast majority of what we consider great technological advancements are labor saving devices. Man was too lazy to walk everywhere, so he invented a car. Tired of swinging that big hunk of sharp, heavy metal to kill your opponent in battle? Well, here we have the gun, requiring only enough effort to aim and pull the trigger. Man was too lazy to do all of those boring, complicated math equations himself, so we have the computer. Too much trouble to light that candle for illumination? With electricity and light bulbs, all you have to do is flip a switch.
If you wonder why there have been so many advances in technology recently, it is because this generation is much lazier than previous ones, and is therefore more motivated to find ways to get out of work. It follows that the lazier we become, the higher our civilization will advance in terms of our technological level. So do your part! The more time you spend lying around watching TV, the closer we are to finding a cure for cancer, or inventing a warp drive engine!
I want that warp engine real soon, so I'm going to stop expending mental and physical energy typing this post. Cheers.

Parsnip Pudding?

2006-03-19T16:24:00.000-06:00

You know what I hate? Shoes that are hard to get off. For some odd reason it annoys me to no end when I have to sit and tug and strain for five minutes to get my shoe off. I have pair of black dress shoes that are snazzy for sure, but boy when it comes time to take them off, I feel them to be my mortal enemy. In a fantastic contest of wills we face each other: the one holding fast to it's long sought postition, the other striving with all of his considerable might to remove it. With many a "Mmmmph!" and "Hrrrgh!" the battle is fought, while the earth (symbolizing my foot) seems almost to burst asunder with the strain.
I just don't like shoes in general. God didn't intend for man to wear shoes. The hobbits had the right idea. Excuse me will I try to evolve a thick, furry covering for my foot.

Wanted

2006-03-02T22:51:00.000-06:00

Elegance:

n Refinement, grace, and beauty in movement, appearance, or manners.

Why don't girls have this any more? What happened?

Gopher Cheese

2006-02-15T17:52:00.000-06:00

Here's a copy of an e-mail I recently sent to a friend of mine. I thought some of you more politically minded Bloggers might enjoy reading it and then arguing with/making fun of me over it. Either way, here it is:

Why are we in Iraq? You've touched on a controversial issue there. I don't claim to be an expert in these things, so this will just be my opinion.
I believe we are in Iraq because President Bush thinks it was the right thing to do. The intelligence he received at the time seemed to indicate that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction. The fact that he was refusing to allow UN weapons inspectors into certain areas only served to reinforce that claim. So here's the situation as Bush sees it: You have a sadistic dictator with the means of killing millions of innocent people. What decent person wouldn't want to do something about that? It's like having a convicted murderer running around and someone hands him a gun. Wouldn't you want the police to take him down before he got a chance to use that gun?
Ok, so we went to war. We took Saddam down. Yes, soldiers died, but that's war. Don't get me wrong, I admire our fighting men and what they do greatly, but if you are a soldier, death is an occupational hazard. But where are the WMDs? Maybe the intelligence was faulty, and they were never there in the first place. Maybe they were smuggled across the border into Syria. Who knows? Either way, Iraq and the world is better off without someone like Saddam Hussein in power.
"But it doesn't seem like the people want us there, and aren't there still tons of bombings and stuff? Aren't people still dying?" you might ask. Those are good questions, but let me address something right off. If you haven't noticed by now, the media is incredibly biased. Anything that they think they can twist into making the right-wing in general, and Bush in particular, look bad, you can bet it will make front page, prime time news. The media only reports the bad things that happen in Iraq. They only cover the malcontents. What you don't hear, is that those people are in the minority, and the vast number of Iraqis are greatful for what we did, and happy for the newfound freedom that they have. Where do I get that information? Sources that aren't mainstream, like World Magazine and such. They're biased as well (to the right) but at least they admit it.
What about all of the bombings and general instability? I admit that the "exit strategy", and plan for Iraq's new government could have been better thought out, but you have to consider this: No one has ever done this before. No one, to my knowledge, has ever come into a country, liberated it, and then set up a democratic government for that country. So cut us some slack,eh? We're learning as we go.
All of this is probably a little more than you were expecting,but remember it's all just my take on things. Maybe we really did go for the oil. Maybe it's all part of some conspiracy to take over the world. I don't know for sure, but what I've said above seems to make the most sense to me. What can I say? I'm an optimist.

Sloop

2006-02-11T20:49:00.000-06:00

It snowed today. Now, this statement in and of itself may not seem too profound, but you must understand, I live in Alabama. Winter for us is only being able to wear shorts in the afternoon. A sizeable portion of our population think snow is a figment of some crazy Yankee's imagination, brought on by sweet tea deprivation. Frozen rain?? Someone's a few branches short of a grits tree if you know what I mean. But, snow actually does exist. I know because I saw some today.
I was sitting and reading (imagine that) enjoying a day without working for The Man. When all of a sudden, as if drawn by some cosmic beckoning, my eyes left the extremely interesting page, in which Eishenhorn had just been betrayed by one of his former friends, and was about to be burned as a heretic, but one of his retinue, who had gone a bit off the deep end, summoned a daemonhost who proceeded to obliterate just about everyone, until....where was I? Oh right. Snow. Sorry, I get sidetracked easily. You know how it is, you're typing along, and you think about one thing and that leads to thoughts of another and before you know it, you don't know what the heck you're saying and your post/report/novella is a convoluted mess. Sometimes I wish I could be more typa A and stay on task.But then I'd have to have all of the other, upleasant qualities of type A's. I'd be boring, overbearing, bossy, highstrung, and I'd probably die of a heart attack at forty. That's just no way to live folks. Being type B is much more fun. You're laid back, fun loving, you have a "whatever" attitude, you'll probably live twice as long as a type A, though you'll only get about half as much done. But who cares? Whatever you did get done,you had a great time doing it.

For New Poetry "Performance" See Post Below

2006-01-18T16:04:00.000-06:00

O Captain! My Captain! by Walt Whitman

A truly great poem. I don't think I did it justice, but I love it, so I wanted to give it a shot.

Now, I have a humble request of those who post poetry almost exclusively ( you know who you are) as well as of those for whom it's a less common occurance: Henceforth, whenever you post a poem, kindly post a reading of it as well, preferably by you. Reading a poem aloud is essential if you want it's full impact, and everyone else will get a lot more from it. Thanks in advance! (Because you know it's a great idea...because I had it.)

O Captain! My Captain!

2006-01-18T15:55:00.000-06:00

2006-01-14T21:05:00.000-06:00

Epicidity

2006-01-08T17:50:00.000-06:00

On the title, this is a made up word. Definition: The quality of being epic.

I was thinking today. I was thinking about the Christians who believe that you must accept Christ in order to go the Heaven. Conversely, they believe that if you do not accept Christ before you die, you will go to Hell. As I was thinking on this, I wondered: How can the people who believe this have any peace at all? How can they sleep at night knowing that all over the world, thousands and thousands of people who haven't accepted Christ or even heard the Gospel are dying and, according to their belief, being sent to Hell? Would you not want to spend every waking moment evangelising and trying to get people to accept? How could you stand the futility of that, knowing that no matter how many people you reach, how many you "save", there were always ten thousand more that you didn't, believing that no matter how hard you work, the number of people in Hell will always be greater than the number of people in Heaven? How could you do anything less than chain your children down until they accept Christ? How could you find time to enjoy anything, believing that every second you are not out there saving souls, Hell is just filling up? If you're not doing any of that, if you think it's not your job, how incredibly selfish does that sound? Think about it. If you do anything less than devote yourself entirely to "saving" others, you are deeming their salvation as less important than your own. This belief carries no peace. No hope.

Thank God that He took care of all of His people's salvation by Himself, once and for all.

Crushing Contortionists

2005-12-21T14:38:00.000-06:00

Whilst cleaning out one of the drawers in my room not too long ago, I happened upon this little bit of insanity that was written by yours truly at the tender age of nine...or ten. It's all a bit hazy, so I can't remember exactly. What I do remember is that I was sitting in my room, busily playing with Legos and started acting out the following...skit., I guess you would call it. Now, you must understand that when I played with Legos, I didn't just build something and then break it, oh no, I would build something and then proceed to spin out a tale that sometimes lasted for days on end. Like this one time I had a bunch of Silly-Putty and I pretended it was some kind of evil space goo, and it crash landed on Earth and all the Lego guys had to try and stop it from taking over the world. But at first it looked like there was no way, because it was goo, ya know? and all of their shots were just absorbed or passed right through it, and then the goo would come up and swallow whoever was shooting at it, so everyone had to put their heads together and.....But I digress. Anyhoodle, here's the little skit that I thought was so funny I just had to write it down:

THE BUGS
and Floyd

Fred: Look Floyd, bugs!
Floyd: Ahhh! Bugs!! I hate bugs!
Floyd starts stamping the bugs while yelling: "Bugs! I hate bugs!"
Fred: Ooookay. I'll just leave now.
Floyd: I hate bugs!
Fred leaves the house. Floyd's wife and daughter walk in.
Daughter: Mommy, is daddy ok?
Wife: It's ok Sue, your daddy does this sometimes.
Sue: What's he saying?
Wife: Listen.
Floyd: I hate bugs! If I had it my way there would be no bugs! Why are there bugs, anyway?
Sue: Are you sure daddy's ok?
Wife:It's ok Sue, don't worry.
Floyd: Confound and botherate these bugs!
Wife: Ok, now you can worry.
Floyd goes and gets his shotgun and starts shooting the bugs.
Floyd: Ha ha ha! Die bugs!
Wife: Honey, I think you should stop now. You're scaring Sue.
Floyd: Nonsense, April. Sue hates bugs too.
Sue: No I don't. I think bugs are cool.
Floyd: What?!? Go to your room! You're grounded!!!
Sue runs to her room, crying.
April: I don't think that was necessary,dear.
Floyd drops the shotgun.
Floyd: You dare question my authority?!?
April: No, I just-
Floyd picks up the shotgun and says: I've got a shotgun!
April: Honey-
Floyd: I've got a shotgun and I know how to use it!
April:Um, dear, I think it's supposed to be turned the other way around.
Floyd: Now you're telling me how to do things?!? That's it! I'm getting rid of you right now!
Floyd pulls the trigger and goes flying out the window.

The End

The Number of Completion (I think I'm the last one...)

2005-12-08T18:58:00.000-06:00

You all know the drill by now.

Seven things...

To do before I die:
= Travel the world
= Fall completely, totally in love and (here's the kicker) have that feeling returned
= Write and publish my novel
= Get it made into one seriously awesome movie. I know it would be awesome! I just know it!
= Become a martial artist
= To be called Grandpa, and be able to finally grow my Grandpa Beard (that's a trademarked term right there)
= To randomly just hop in the car and drive until I wind up somewhere

I cannot do:
= Whistle really loud through my fingers
= Comprehend eternity
= Eat boiled squash
= Be flexible
= Stand people who imitate homosexuals. It's abomination people. If you kid around about it, it means you're not taking it seriously
= I cannot bear to be left out
= Get up on time on a school day. I always need at least five more minutes.

That attracted me to my spouse:

= Eyes you can drown in
= The fact that she'd as soon slit your throat as look at you (yeah, figure that one out...)
= A Godly spirit
= She's intelligent and can carry on an intelligent conversation
= She shares some of my interests, but not all of them (if we're exactly alike, one of us is unnecessary)
= She'll argue with me. I mean a real good argument, with raised voices and everything. Maybe we could even throw stuff at each other.
= But at the end of said argument, she acknowledges that the Bible says that she is to be the submissive one (but not too submissive)

Things I say most often:
= Holy crap!
= Are you serious?
= Indeed
= indubitably (ok not really but it's just a cool word)
= N-n-n-n-n-n-no
= Yes?
= I'm hungry

Books I love:
= LOTR
= Chronicles of Narnia
= My Side of the Mountain
= The Wheel of Time series (most of them anyways)
= Ender's Game
= The Count of Monte Cristo
= Dune
(before you guys rag on me, the Bible is separate and apart)

Movies I could watch over and over:
= Any LOTR movie
= Batman Begins
= Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail
= Pirates of the Caribbean
= X-Men 2
= Master and Commander
= Ocean's 11 and 12

People I want to tag:
= George W. Bush

Messiah

2005-12-02T20:56:00.000-06:00

On Monday of this week I had one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I was able to perform in Handel's Messiah. If you don't know what that is, then shame on you. Messiah is the famous oratorio (great word) which contains the Hallelujah chorus that everybody knows. My father, mother, one of my sisters, and myself were all in the choir.
Now the music was fantastic, what with the huge choir (about 80-100 strong) singing, and the orchestra playing, but what really stands out is the words. Handel used only scripture, and it's really hard to improve on God's writing. By Handel's choice of words, and the music he put to them, you can tell he was very close to the Lord when he was writing this. In Surely He Hath Bourne Our Griefs you can almost feel Christ's suffering. In For Since By Man Came Death you get a sense of the awful state that man put himself in, but also an explosive sense of joy in knowing that Jesus rescued us from that fate.
This is a beautiful and spiritually nourishing piece of music, and should you ever get the chance to be a part of the Messiah, leap at it.

Dear Ralph the First

2005-11-29T15:51:00.000-06:00

I "recently" received the following e-mail:

Dear Ralph--
Ok, so like, my boyfriend and I have been having relationship issues lately, and like, the other day we were talking on IM, and I told him I was so way tired of his avatar. So what do you think he did? He like went right then and got this avatar that's a picture from a movie he knows I so totally HATE! Is he trying to say something? Should I take it personally? I think I'm gonna call and tell him he is the biggest loser ever and I am like totally dumping him, or whatever. What do you think? Help me, Ralph!

-- McCayla

Dear McCayla,
In our day and time, internet relationship troubles are becoming an all too common problem. The IM avatar is a powerful expression of individuality, and oftentimes a window into a person's true being, so problems concerning this symbol should be dealt with quickly and thoroughly.
There are two possible explanations to your boyfriends behavior, both of them troubling.
1. He's not taking the avatar seriously, in which case he is really not the kind of person you would want to be with. A guy who jokes around about something as important as the Buddy Icon will invariably prove to be out of touch with reality or something like that.
2. He is taking the icon seriously, which would mean if he changed it to something he knows you despise, he's sending powerful signals about how he feels about the relationship. By changing his avatar to a symbol he knows will cause conflict, he's expressing that he doesn't feel he can relate to you, or that you can't understand him. In either case, it's a bad thing.
So, after careful examination and consideration, I have arrived at the following conclusion: Dump the loser. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, McCayla, since breakups are always painful, but trust me, I'm doing you a favor.

Ralph

I wanted a Sexy Brazilian Name too...

2005-11-07T16:34:00.000-06:00

Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:

Marcello Menezes

What's" Your Sexy Brazilian Name?

Ye Olde Spellinge

2005-11-06T21:51:00.000-06:00

The other day, whilst I was clearing the yard of leaf remains (which, despite it's inherently grisly nature, is actually a very boring task) I fell to thinking, which is often the case. I fell to thinking about the womenfolk, attempting to puzzle them out, which is also often the case. (On a side note, I would like to say to any fellas reading this that if you ever find yourself with nothing to do, trying to figure out the ladies will provide you with endless hours of brainwork.)
But as I was saying, while I was chopping and disfiguring all those leaves, I began musing upon the subject of what kind of man women look for. Now, I know that it varies greatly from woman to woman, but usually they have something in common (like wanting said man to not be a complete jerk). But what really puzzles me is that the same girl will more often than not want wildly different, and in some cases contradictory, traits in her "dream man". For instance: They want a guy who is sensitive (whatever the heck that means...), he'll spout poetry and hold long conversations about Austen or Bronte or some such. But at the same time they want a guy who will...I don't know, grab snakes and tie them in knots, or break rocks with their foreheads. Listen ladies, if a guy is spending all of his time reading Pride and Prejudice he is not out climbing mountains or wrestling grizzlies. And quite frankly, any "guy" who would want to watch Elizabeth Bennet sort out her personal problems rather than, say, Aragorn go to town on some Uruks,isn't much of a guy in my professional opinion.
I guess I'd just like to point out that we're guys. We are different. We don't like to sit around and talk about our feelings. We like things that explode. We definitely do not understand you ladies. So don't hold your breath too long waiting on someone who is basically just another girl with a Y chromosome.
The conclusion? Girls have no idea what they want until it bites them in the face.

My brain hurts.

The Champions

2005-10-27T23:25:00.000-05:00

Let there be rejoicing in the hills and on the plains! For this night, the Spartans are crowned the West Jefferson Youth Soccer League 2005 Season Champions! (Quite a title isn't it?)
We were led to a 2-0 victory over the Storm tonight by our beloved team captain Luke Brymer (with proper help from the defensive captain: Yours Truly). This was Luke's last season to play, so it was a fitting send off (as was the shaving cream battle after the game). It's been an excellent season, and though I am very tired right now, I'm sure that after I've had some sleep, I'll be looking forward to the next one. The Spartans will be back next year to defend our title. Luke, we'll miss ya, buddy.

Sushi Muffins

2005-10-20T21:39:00.000-05:00

With all the glowing sentiments of Fall that are being posted, I feel led to step up to the plate and bring some people's heads down from the clouds. Someone needs to remind you guys of Fall's unpleasant side, and I warn you, this post will be unpleasant. Now don't call me a pessimist or a cynic; I'm just trying to keep things balanced.
Fall is a time when the leaves die. They fall to the ground in a thick carpet, and completely obscure the brown, dying grass. Face it people, Fall is a time of death. Even the name of the season:Fall, is generally a negative term. The grass dies, the leaves die, and the trees are left bare to sigh and moan in the chill wind.
Another point. All those leaves go to the ground as I have said. Eventually someone, coughDadcough, is going to want all of those leaves off of the ground. Which means he delegates. Now, this is a big word that simply means he finds someone else to do the work that he doesn't want to do. So, armed with a rake you go out face the grisly sight. The whole of the yard, strewn with the corpses of the leaves. You start the morbid task of collecting those decaying bodies into heaps of the dead, which are then either cremated, or unceremoniously hauled off to a mass grave.
Or, if you are fortunate enough to own a lawn mower with a vacuum (which we are), you can get rid of the leaves that way. But this is far more gruesome. Now, instead of merely being gathered and disposed of, the leaves are mangled and chopped into pieces by spinning metal blades of death before being taken away. Horrible.
Now consider the holidays of Fall. Halloween is one. Need I say more?
But then there's Thanksgiving. "What in the world can you have against Thanksgiving?!?!?" you may asked incredulously. Think a moment. What is the high point of Thanksgiving? The dinner. What is the center piece of any Thanksgiving dinner? The turkey. The turkey that was cruelly slaughtered, and then had it's unfortunate remains boiled, or basted, or baked, and then ripped into by ravenous carnivores.
A season of death indeed.
So go out and enjoy your pumpkins (before you eviscerate them), eat your candy(and feel your teeth decaying as you munch), curl up and read by the fire (as your eyes dry from the smoke, and become damaged by the strain of reading without adequate light), jump in the piles of leaf corpses, whatever. It's Fall.

(On a side note, I think I should explain that Fall is my most favoritest season, and this post is supposed to be a joke...sort of. So you if you took this waaaay to seriously and are now mad at me for soiling your fall experience, or extremely worried about what kind of sad, depressing life I lead, you really need to lighten up bub.)

Crumpets

2005-10-11T23:10:00.000-05:00

Let's try this again...

Ok, so it's been a while. But I told you not to expect regular updates. Why don't you people ever listen to me? I guess that's just part of being a middle child. No, no, it's ok. I'm used to it by now. What's been going on lately? Quite a lot actually. For example, last Tuesday (the 4th) I turned sixteen. The age of the license. So I went to get it. Now that was a trip, let me tell ya. *The audience, who has already heard this story at least four times, groans.*
We (meaning my mother and I) arrived at the Alabama Department of Public Safety at approximately 11:30am. I had already been here the year before to get my permit, so I knew what to expect. This time I remembered to bring something to read. This time I wasn't going to be stuck twiddling my thumbs for hours on end. So in a fairly good mood, I settled into a fairly uncomfortable plastic chair with The Count of Monte Cristo and prepared to wait it out.

Five hours later.

You know, after you've been the same room with the same group of strangers for any length of time, the "stranger" status begins to wear off. You start striking up little chats with whoever happens to be sitting/standing/tearing their hair out in frustrated impatience next to you. When someone's number is called they cheer, and everyone else cheers with them, though perhaps silently. There's a real sense of camaraderie. It actually would have been a pretty fun time if it hadn't been for the fact that I'd been sitting in the same chair, breathing the same oxygen for the past five hours, hardly willing to go to the bathroom lest my number be called in my absence.
Needless to say, when my number finally was called, I was very,very happy. I was finally going into The Room. That happy feeling lasted right up to the part where I sat down in the empty chair across from the desk. That was when I was confronted by a very large, very snippy, and very bad tempered black woman. "Please Lord, please, oh please, don't let this be my license examiner!" I just knew that if I took the road test with her in the car, she would fail me just for making her leave the comfort of her desk chair. I had seen the other large, black women back there actually crack a smile once in a while. This one? No such luck. Fortunately (well, now that I look back on it) my insurance card was expired. That's right folks. Five hours of waiting and what to show for it? Diddley. Squat.
Needless to say, when I found this out I was very, very disappointed. I would have taken any license examiner, if only they would let me take the test! We ask what we need to do. Get an insurance card that's not expired they say. Ok, how late are you open? We process until 4:00. What time is it? 3:56. Fantastic.
We went back in the morning. I was determined to be the safest darn driver in Alabama, just to show them. I'd be so safe, they would have no choice but the let me pass. "This is just incredible!" they would say. " We're giving you an A class license!You want to transport hazardous waste? Go right ahead! Oh, you want to fly an airplane too? No problem! Here, take this license to operate a tank as well!" So I took the test. I passed. I am now legally a danger to motorists everywhere.The examiner guy was actually pretty cool, and I must have done well as the only thing he said to me by way of criticism was to go faster (and I had no problem with that). Unfortunately, they didn't award me a tank license (there's always next year...) but, Saturday I had a most awesome party. It more than made up for my actual birthday fiasco. I forgot how many awesome friends I had. It made me feel very good inside, and also very undeserving. It was, quite possibly, the Best. Party. Ever. I would write more about it, but I don't think I can properly express how it made me feel. The capitalized words above will have to suffice.
So all in all...my sixteenth birthday rocked.

Just a side note, I am listening to Flamenco music as I write this. It sounds very...sultry? It's interesting how music can convey those types of emotions with no words. *Listens for a moment.* Hmmm....maybe I should visit Spain.

2005-10-09T21:19:00.000-05:00

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH!!!! I JUST SPENT 30 MINUTES ON A REALLY LONG POST ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY EXPERIENCE AND IT'S JUST BEEN ERASED! I HAVE COMPLETELY LOST THE WILL TO POST TONIGHT! GAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!

So Then I Said...

2005-09-30T20:26:00.000-05:00

Kids, today I would like to discuss a very important aspect of fire safety. Please study the following illustration carefully.

Now, I know that setting yourself on fire might seem like a good, fun idea. I know you'll be in a situation where everyone's doing it and you might be tempted to succumb to the peer pressure. You'll be afraid that all the other kids will laugh at you if you don't go along. Let me take this opportunity to encourage you to not give in. Setting yourself on fire is not fun, and it is most definantly not safe.
But what if you find yourself in a situation where you have accidentally set yourself on fire? There are some basic safety rules that you should follow.
First, here is a list of what you should not do:
1. Do not panic.
2. Do not run around waving your arms and screaming like a maniac, "AHHHHH!!! I'M ON FIRE!! I'M ON FIRE!!!"
3. Do not jump into a pool of gasoline.
4. Do not give anyone standing nearby a hug.

So here is what you should do.
1. First, calmly assess the situation and plan your course of action. Your thought process might go something like this: "Now, it appears that I am on fire. This could be a potentially hazardous situation to me and those around me, so I should take steps to deal with it promptly and safely."
2. If there is a body of water nearby, it would be wise to make your way calmly but quickly towards it. Once there,immerse yourself, thereby extinguishing the flames. (Caution: This step carries some risk of drowning. Exercise care.)
3. If there is no body of water present, calmly drop to the ground, but not too quickly or you might cause bruising, and then proceed to roll about (again not too quickly or vigorously; you're already on fire, you don't want to be sore on top of that) until the flames are put out.
4. If there is no ground nearby, if say, you are falling out of an airplane and are on fire, quickly and calmly remove the articles of clothing that are aflame and discard them. (Caution: This step carries some risk of embarrassment.)

Well kids, this concludes today's lesson. I hope that you have learned something valuable about fire safety. Remember, in any emergency situation the best advice is to not panic, whether it be a nuclear disaster, or the spontaneous combustion of a limb, just try to remain calm.
Stay safe!

Forked tongues

2005-09-27T19:37:00.000-05:00

This afternoon I spent a good two hours or so tramping around in the woods behind my house. I was wearing my big boots because, as everyone knows, big boots are essential if one wishes to tramp properly.
It was one of the most enjoyable afternoons I've spent in a while. It was so quiet down there.So quite; and quietness is a rare thing around my house. The only noise was the sound of the creek playing over the rocks; the only thing moving was the tops of the trees as they were tickled by the wind. There was also the sound of a fifteen soon to be sixteen year old young man crashing through the brush in big boots.
I saw hardly any member of the animal kingdom except for spiders. And crows. I ran into a large batch of crows. Large and apparently agitated. I was actually worried they would dive bomb me, and even went so far as to arm myself with a club, but I think the amount of noise I made while scrounging around for a suitable bludgeon scared them off. That and my big boots.
While down in the woods, I had a lot of time for thinking. It was quite enough to really think properly, and I puzzled out a good many things. Mainly, I worked out a theory on the basic nature of love and attraction, decided that the rise in the number of cancer cases must be in some way related to the rising amount of chemicals and junk that is in our food, and wondered why my feet weren't sweating as much as they should be. Was the Thinsulation in my big boots wearing out? How would they hold up this winter?. All theories still need to be tested.
On my way up one particularly steep hill, I came across a tree that looked suitable to climbing. This was very unusual, as most of the trees in my woods are either too large, or too small, or too dead. So I couldn't let this opportunity pass up. Using the excellent grip provided by my big boots, I easily scaled the tree. As I mentioned, this tree was near the top of a hill, so upon reaching the top, the view I was presented was astounding. Rank upon rank of trees marched up the hill across the creek from me, the sunlight dancing on their leaves, with the wind pushing them back and forth as I, perched in my tree, swayed with them. Well, that doesn't really describe it as well as I would like, but that's about as far as words can go. Maybe Emerson or Thoreau could have said it better.
I type all this primarily because I don't have much else to do. But another reason is to encourage anyone who reads this to go outside. It's nice out there. You'll like it.

Cambodian Politics

2005-09-26T16:20:00.000-05:00

Well, I've finally surrendered to the wave of Blog-Mania that has been sweeping the nation. I figured since most of my other friends have one, and since they're pretty cool people, I might as well start one up myself. Because I'm cool too. In fact I might be the coolest, most humble guy I know, so I guess I need a blahg...I mean blog.
If you've decided to waste your time at this place, I should tell you what to expect. Don't expect regular updates. And don't expect the posts I do make to be very relevant or coherent. Also expect heavy use of Italics. They are added for emphasis, so make sure this is reflected in that little voice you use to read to yourself in your head. You know what I'm talking about. Furthermore, when I use double (or triple, or quadruple...) superlatives, it's because I want to, not because I am ignorant of the rules of English Grammar. Double superlatives are the mostest funnest things ever, kids!
That should be just about all you need to know to get started. Were you expecting me to give you a long spill about the kind of person I am, and what my fondest hopes and dreams are, and where I live, and what time I go out at night all by myself in deserted parking lots in districts where even the police are afraid to go? Well tough. You ain't gettin' one...stalker.